“Miss Advised” Star Amy Laurent: 10 Tips For A Successful First Date

Laurel Pinson
 Miss Advised Star Amy Laurent: 10 Tips For A Successful First DateYou may know Amy Laurent from Bravo’s new hit “Miss Advised” (airing Mondays at 10 PM EST), where she helps young singles (and herself) navigate the perpetually complicated world of relationships. As an established matchmaker for over 7 years (she’s been featured on “The Today Show,” “The Early Show,” “Fox & Friends,” “Oprah” and a whole lot more), Amy has seen it all: the good, the bad and the ugly. And now, she’s here to share her wit and wisdom with you StyleCaster readers every week. If you can’t get enough Amy, you can preorder her book 8 Weeks to Everlasting here.
  1. Know The Look You’re Going For: You want to attract your date, but you also want to send the right message. There are no second chances to make a first impression, and even the slightest indiscretion in style choice could permanently skew his impression of you, unfortunately. If you want to send the “I’m capturing your eye, and I could be girlfriend material” message, be sure to choose something feminine enough yet shows either a little leg, or a little neck line — never both. Leave some mystery with your sex appeal. Lastly, you want to look like you put some effort into this date, but never overdone or like you’re trying too hard. Let him think you wake up looking like this!
  2. Before Leaving The House, Be Confident in Your Outfit Choice: Above all, never wear something that isn’t ‘you’ or that you don’t feel comfortable wearing. It’s far more important to feel confident and at ease during your date than to be tugging at the skirt you knew you didn’t really want to wear; or to be unable to hear anything your date says through the excruciating pain of five-inch heels.
  3. Avoid TMI: Sometimes we feel so comfortable with someone — or they are asking us a lot of questions — that we forget it’s the first date and it might not be okay to fall into too-heavy topics of conversation. Keep it light; Don’t go into discussion about heavy family issues, your exes, how you hate everyone at work, or that your best friend just told you she’s a lesbian. As much as you think it’s okay, I can assure you that no one wants to hear this on a first date, unless they are never planning on seeing you again. You can guide the conversation if they start asking you some heavy questions.
  4. Don’t Forget to Ask Him Questions: One of the most common grips my guy clients reveal to me as their matchmaker is that, throughout the duration of the date, not one question about him was asked. Yes, the guy should lead, but that doesn’t mean you should sit back and not be a willing participant in getting to know him. It’s like a game of tennis. The best first dates are those were each person carries the conversation equally (not a girl just sitting there like she’s being interviewed on Jimmy Kimmel).
  5. Keep The Business/Work/School Talk to a Minimum: This is a Date, Not an Interview: Try asking him, what do you do when you’re not at work?  Where have you traveled?  Light stories about childhood or family are great topics of conversation — hobbies, passions, or fun anecdotes about the city you live in they can identify with.
  6. Never Offer to Pay; Always Say “Thank You” at the Table Before Getting Up: If you are a female and this is a real first date (not just dinner with a guy pal), then do not offer to pay when the bill comes! However do always make sure either as he’s paying the bill or at some point before you leave the table (or barstool, icecream counter, coffee shop, etc) that you make a clear and honest gesture saying “thank you” for the drinks/dinner/coffee. Stress that this was really fun. Yes, you have to make it a gesture, not just a simple “Thanks for that!”  It shouldn’t be outside of the venue or as you are leaving for home.  No one likes a girl that just ‘expects things’ without showing gratitude and appreciation for having him take you out.  It’s very simple, yet not done nearly as often as you think – and men do notice.
  7. Don’t Become The “Texting Girl”: Once a texting girl, always a texting girl. Don’t complain if he “never calls you.” You set the pace from date one. If he initiates a text to confirm the first date or plan, that’s one thing — keep that to a minimum. Before a first date, however, if he wants to ask you out and plan a first date, tell him to call you and don’t get sucked in to responding to texts.  If he’s seriously interested in you, he will get the message – very quickly — and he will pick up the phone..
  8. A Hug or PG-Rated Kiss at The End of a First Date is Appropriate: Even if you’re feeling mad chemistry for each other, the best things come to those who wait and who build a foundation. Fools that rush in fizzle out fast. Enjoy the process and keep the excitement of getting to know each other slowly as something to look forward to the next date.  A hug doesn’t mean he’s not interested! Let him make the move at the end of the date, but leave tonsel hockey for later dates. Keep it short and sweet, and he’ll be coming back for more.
  9. Keep Yourself In Check and Stay Confident: Remind yourself that there is no need to be nervous because at the end of the day, this isn’t about you hoping he will like you.   Always remember, instead, that he’s lucky if you like him just as well.
  10. Don’t Be a Nag: Is your cup half-empty, or half-full? This is not a friend you are meeting out, this is a man who would like to get to know you. No one likes a complainer.

 

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