You may know Amy Laurent from Bravo’s new hit “Miss Advised” (airing Mondays at 10 PM EST), where she helps young singles (and herself) navigate the perpetually complicated world of relationships. As an established matchmaker for over 7 years (she’s been featured on “The Today Show,” “The Early Show,” “Fox & Friends,” “Oprah” and a whole lot more), Amy has seen it all: the good, the bad and the ugly. And now, she’s here to share her wit and wisdom with you StyleCaster readers every week. If you can’t get enough Amy, you can preorder her book 8 Weeks to Everlasting here or pick it up on iTunes.
So you’ve gotten through the first date without a hitch and he’s calling you for a second and a third, where you’ve successfully avoided the mistakes after the first date and are now well on your way to potentially becoming someone’s “girlfriend.” You go! However, before we move along through week three and four, stop and evaluate the situation in order to make sure you are picking up any important signs and not dismissing the screaming red flags we so often easily do.
Signs He’s Into You:
- He’s planning ahead for your dates — asking on a Monday, for example, when you might be free that week. If the time you have available conflicts with his, you notice he changes things around in order to make it work.
- He genuinely asks more questions about your friends, your family, what it was like for you growing up, etc. When a guy wants to know who you are on a deeper level, that is a significant move!
- He always sends you a text the day after your date to say he had a nice time and asks how your day is going. On any given week, you hear from him every day or two.
- He shows interest by asking you out on a consistent basis. He never lets a week to go by without at least seeing you once. Twice, well, that’s the perfect number!
- You notice he mentions friends to you and also the fact that he has mentioned you to them.
- He asks you to join him and a friend on a double date or a family or work function. This means he’s starting to want to include you in his closest circle in a more intimate way.
Signs He’s Not Into You:
- You don’t hear from him for a few days or a week. If a guy is interested in you, they are definitely more proactive than that! This could mean he’s distancing himself from you or just thinks of you as something casual. Don’t panic. Men sometimes show signs of a “pull-back” stage in that second or third week when they have cold feet and return shortly thereafter. Time will tell, but if you still see this sign with your new guy after a couple more weeks, he’s definitely “not that into you.”
- He goes from asking you out to dinner to asking you out for drinks. Soon, “just drinks” will turn into suggesting coming over for a movie at his place. Not a good sign at all. This means he’s not putting the effort in to courting you and you’ve turned from a dinner girl to a “drink girl” because he is likely just interested in one thing.
- He’s only casually asking you out — either giving you very little notice or not asking you out on one-on-one dates. Instead, you’re getting invites to parties with his friends or Sunday football games with his buddies. This sign could mean that he’s trying to let you down easily and isn’t interested in dating you seriously.
- He’s dropping comments about what girls he thinks are hot, celebrities he likes, and keeps mentioning he’s really busy and going to be traveling a lot the next few weeks. This is him setting the stage to put you in the friend zone so that you don’t expect too much from him.