5 Dating Lessons I Learned from My Sisters – A Guy’s Perspective on Attracting the Opposite Sex


Image: flickr.com/creativecommons

Coooooooooooool I love that word. It means different things to different people. To some, cool means fitting in and doing what others do. Meanwhile in Idanics, cool represents style, swag, and comfort in your own skin.

When I was younger, I was certainly not cool as others would define it. I didnt have cool clothes, a cool car, cool hobbies, cool habits, a cool look, or cool hair. Speaking of hair, dont let me forget to tell you that my mom insisted I grow my hair long. This meant that strangers would often compliment her on her three lovely daughters.

When you arent cool, you probably arent dating much. The only experiences you develop with people are from standing on the sideline and watching what the cool people do. I never cared too much about what the cool crowd was doing because they represented the institution and, Lord knows, I never thought the institution was very cool. Instead, I watched and learned from my sisters as they went on dates. Over the years, these notes became part of what I refer to as the Idan Juan Code. Below, I share five of its many dating lessons.

1. Romantic v. Stalker
The only difference between a romantic guy and a stalker is whether a woman is attracted to you. When a woman is attracted to you, your persistence and efforts will be considered romantic, admirable, and attentive. When a woman is not attracted to you, your persistence and efforts will be considered stalkerish.

2. The Zone
This is the invisible zone that surrounds each woman. The Zone represents security, privacy, safety, and comfort. Always respect the Zone and do not attempt to enter until you are given what I refer to as a Zone pass. Believe me, you will know when it has been granted.

3. Shell let you know
If a woman wants to keep in touch with you, she will certainly let you know. Please dont fight me on this one. There is no need to ask her for her number. She will pass along subtle hints if she wants to keep in touch with you, e.g. Do you have a card?, We should keep in touch, Here is my number, Are you on Facebook?, Does Pat have your number? etc.

4. If she wants to spend time with you, then she will.
Fellas, there is no need to call repeatedly, leave multiple messages, email, tweet, or instant message her on Facebook. I recognize that you may have already left her a couple messages. That is OK but, after that, it is time to back away. If she wants to return your call, then she will. If she wants to see you, then she will. If she wants to hang out with you, then she will.

5. Men approach me all day long so dont expect me to be so kind when we first meet.
Guys, I insist you put yourself in her shoes. You think she is really attractive, but so do the other 200 guys that saw her today, yesterday, and the day before. She is tired of being approached, ogled, and harassed so leave her alone. If you insist on approaching her, do it with style, with charm, with confidence, and with subtlety.

In recent articles this year, The Wall Street Journal, Men’s Journal, and Sports Illustrated referred to Idan Ravin as the “Hoops Whisperer” because of his unique ability to engage, inspire and challenge the many NBA players he trains. Idan has worked with many of the NBA’s elite, including Chris Paul (New Orleans Hornets), Carmelo Anthony (Denver Nuggets), Kevin Durant (Oklahoma City Thunder), Gilbert Arenas (Washington Wizards), LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers), Joe Johnson (Atlanta Hawks), Amare Stoudemaire (Phoenix Suns), Kobe Bryant (Los Angeles Lakers), Jason Richardson (Phoenix Suns), and Rudy Gay (Memphis Grizzlies).

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