In a typical day as a fashion editor, it’s not uncommon to be searching the web for a fantastic pair of fall booties or a great statement necklace – all in the name of, um, research. Sometimes a little “oops there goes another $300 at Net-A-Porter” inevitably happens, but it’s all just part of the job description right? Well, on one such recent quest, we started to stumble on a few fall items in stock (we’ll blame it on the lace bell bottoms) on some of our favorite e-commerce dailies that were to put it nicely not exactly seducing our credit cards. And to put it not so nicely, the stream of consciousness that followed went a little something like this: How dare you sell that lacy piece of blasphemy next to LANVIN?! Actually, it comes down to just three little letters: WTF.
But we’ll let you judge for yourselves whether you’d fall prey to these for-the-lack-of-a-less-ambiguous-term, interesting fall items. Click through the slide show above to check out some of the bizarre offerings your favorite retailers are trying to sell you this fall.
This takes the buckled boot to hell and back, no? Vintage boots with draped accessories by Luxury Jones, $380, at needsupply.com
It would take all of Lady Gaga's magical powers combined to make these browtastic shades popular, but even her cigarette sunglasses were more functional. At least she could light up with those. Chain brow sunglasses by Laura Kranitz, $58, at nastygal.com
Wearing this tee is like a fashion fortune teller. We see many road-side diners and guys with goatees in your future. Light feather fringe tee by Wildfox Couture, $77, at chickdowntown.com
We're just imagining how turned on our next date will be by the four additional eyes staring at him from across the dinner table. 'Don't you dare check out that waitress - we've got our six eyes on you...' Studded owl earrings by Topshop, $18, at topshop.com
Not exactly transitional from work to date night, although on second thought this could be a great prank to play on your man. Keep tugging... Cotton shirt body suit by Tibi, $225, at netaporter.com
Skulls on McQueen knuckle dusters and snap clutches are cool. But a big ole jangling string of bones clanking between our breasts? Not so much. Skeleton pendant necklace by Topshop, $28, at topshop.com
Take caution when wearing these fur balls tweens on the street might mistake your feet for Paris Hilton's dog. Fur wedges by Opening Ceremony, $555, at openingceremony.com
We don't care how good they are for you there is simply no reason to carry around a carrot on your finger, unless it's of course, the sparkly kind. Carrot gold ring by Solange Azagury-Partridge, $5,600, at netaporter.com
We can only say that we're thankful for the built in booty shorts. Nightcap lace bell bottoms, $188, at nastygal.com
This just looks like a disease. Polka dot ivory tights by Bebaroque, $48, at pixiemarket.com
Hi! I'm a worn-eaten leaf! No, wait - I'm a Ghostbuster. Wood Wood Chapman sweatshirt, $136, at urbanoutfitters.com
Jeffrey Campbell can usually do no wrong, but we'd rather accessorize our wedges with socks than buy the already built-in version. Jeffrey Campbell mesh wedges, $110, at karmaloop.com
Sometimes beauty hurts, but this only hurts. Medieval torture device, anyone. Litter SF antique double tier leg garder, $105, at blueplanet.com
Worse than the actual socks themselves is the fact that Urban chose to style them with brown and white oxfords. Our eyeballs hurt. Betsey Johnson mexicali rose thigh highs, $24, at urbanoutfitters.com