12 Most Disturbing Homemade Halloween Costumes on Etsy

Spencer Cain
12 Most Disturbing Homemade Halloween Costumes on Etsy
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As many of you know, Etsy is an online marketplace where you can “buy and sell handmade or vintage items, art and supplies.” It’s actually a pretty awesome site, and many of my friends have found great one-of-a-kind jewelry and goodies there.

However, the trouble with Etsy is that basically anyone with a needle and thread can put up their, uh, creations online. That obviously makes for some hilarious (albeit disturbing) laughs.

Thankfully this Halloween brought out the best in some of Etsy’s freakiest crafting fanatics. Check out the gallery above for a compilation of 12 of the most absurd costumes we found and let us know your favorite.

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"What a perfect costume for any ferret," the description for this Vampire Ferret Costume states. Seriously, this is one of the reasons why people hate Americans. 

The Jolly St. Nick holiday costume for dogs and cats is perfect for that psychotic woman living alone in a trailer whose favorite food is baked beans and cut-up hot dogs. 

The Roadkill Bunny Rabbit Halloween costume comes in sizes for both children and adults -- you know, just in case you want your kid to become that guy that huffs bug spray at summer camp, breaks some girl's arm and gets sent home early. 

This "Yoda inspired" dog hat is actually sort of cute, I must admit. But unless you're Elle Woods, it's kind of appalling to dress your dog in anything.  

What's a wizard without a creepy beard? And this one goes above and beyond, with its "wool/acrylic blend (shown in white) is lovingly knit together into a (functional!) beard from my original pattern. Can be worn at full length or wrapped around the neck for extra warmth." Functional and freaky? Sign me up!

Oof. This is a doozy. Check out this description: "Amazing for Renaissance Faires, conventions, or just dress up! Hooves and digitigrade (digi-grade) legs made for comfort, so you will not be walking around on your toes or in stilts. Frolic like a faun!" I don't know if you're familiar with "Renaissance Faires," but let me tell you that they are just not a pretty sight. Enough said. 

This "Super Unicorn" costume is perfect for that girl who hangs out with the guys that live and die by Lord of the Rings and eating donuts on their mother's couches until 35. 

This Loch Ness Monster costume is the ultimate for any weird adult who still holds onto a childhood obsession. 

Okay, this is another one that's absolutely adorable. Sure, I'm not the biggest proponent of dressing your children up as desserts, but this is still cute...certainly cuter than putting a vampire suit on a ferret. 

"Introducing Jeweliana, the Fairytale Princess, Ready for the night of Halloween." First of all, if you couldn't tell, I think having rodents as pets is really, really weird. Second of all, please don't call them princess. 

Offensive and fabulous, this "Catahontas" costume is a dream come true. 

These Garden Gnome costumes come in a family pack, which is sort of cute -- until you look at this man. 

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