1) Dont Fake It
Its no secret we love women who have orgasms but faking it to please us only robs you of the pleasure you deserve and we want you to have. Besides, if we think we’re doing it right, it only makes us repeat the same style that achieved the fictitious result, and only takes you further away from actually having orgasms with us. What a shame. If its our first time together, lets get off to an honest beginning. If you dont have an orgasm, and he asks if you did, be honest and tell him the truth. The more you like the guy, the more honest you need to be with him.
2) Show & Tell
Men are not mind readers. If you are not having orgasms with us, show and tell us what we need to do, and dont be afraid of appearing too liberated. Men love a challenge, especially this one, and real men admire women who can talk us through it. Give honest feedback and lead us to the finish line. Its difficult to please a woman who cannot please herself. If you dont know what to tell us, and you dont masturbate, please start, and do use a normal size prop without electricity (ours doesnt have batteries). When you find the spot, action, intensity, or combination that works, tell us what it is, and well work on that together until we make fireworks. Thats recreation at its finest.
Ladies, better to communicate with your man on what you want. Photo: iStock.com
If we are connected emotionally, the experience can last as long as we want it to last, and it can be the everything we both want it to be. Due to abandonment and other issues, some women go out of their way to disconnect. This behavior may protect your heart but will do nothing for our sexual experiences. Intimacy is not sex and sex is not intimacy, but intimate sex can be wonderful. If you have abandonment issues, try this: Say to yourself I may not love you tomorrow but right now I love you more than anyone Ive ever known. Now connect and give yourself to him. You just might have the orgasm of your life and he may too.
4) Dont Kick the Dog
Rejection in lovemaking is the worst of all things. Men are a lot like puppies. Imagine coming home after a long day and your puppy bounces to the door with the most affectionate greeting, but rather than kneeling to shower him with love and affection, you kick the poor doggy. How often do you think that needs to happen before the little guy slows his approach and finally stops greeting you altogether? The same goes for men. Unless you want him to lose interest, and that can happen quite easily, find the energy to get yourself into it, each time and forever.
5) Your Sex Drive
The only difference between a great friendship and romance is sex. In matchmaking, I try to match sex drives right along with all of the other stuff. When I interview men and women, I ask them to tell me a number from one to ten, lowest to highest, of how often they like to have sex per week. While a four and a six will usually work things out, a four and a seven likely wont, and neither will a two and a five, let alone a two and a seven. Save yourself six months in a relationship going nowhere. At the earliest point possible, mention your sex drive in a conversation so you two are on the same page. Note: Contrary to popular belief, most women have very healthy sex drives very.
Try a different locale perhaps spice things up in the kitchen. Photo: iStock.com
6) Think Beyond The Bed
That mattress is for sleeping, and occasionally for sex, but if your sex life is boring, you are probably horizontal way too much. Find different places in the apartment, and find different places other than the apartment. Elevators, staircases, bathrooms and boardrooms are only the beginning. Always be on the lookout for a great place to take your lover, and if you are creative, surprise him by leading him to the spot you discovered. Guess what sweetheart? I found a new spot. Now get over here. Think 9 Weeks to make your love life last a lifetime.
7) Take the Lead
We love it when you initiate sex. We feel desired when you initiate sex. We get totally turned on when you initiate sex. Initiate sex.
8) Go for an Oscar
Not all women enjoy giving oral sex and we get that. The ones who do make us feel like theyd do it for as long as we wanted. They dont rush it. Theyre happy to wait for us to signal to them that were ready for something else. Or at least thats how they make us feel. The result is that we feel better connected to you, which will make the main event last longer and nice for you as well. If you are one of the women who does not enjoy giving oral sex, it would be in your best interest to pretend you are going for an Academy Award for Best Actress in an Action Thriller.
Give the guy a break, we love it when you take the lead sometimes. Photo: iStock.com
9) Lets Talk or Not
People are split on the subject of talking during sex. Many can go either way. Try to find out early what your partner likes and doesnt like when it comes to talking. I have a client that I introduced to a devout Catholic Italian Countess. They were in Saint Barths for their second rendezvous (their first was in Paris) when she mentioned to him every day how difficult it still was for her (at 32 years old) to escape the guilt of having sex. Midweek he called me for advice. Maybe she is hinting at what she really wants, I said. Try whispering you are such a bad girl while you are making love and shell let you know. The result? One orgasm after another. Sex is about pleasing your partner, and if everybody felt that way, wed all be a lot happier. Of course, life would be a lot easier too if you would simply tell us what youd like to hear or not hear.
10) Get In Sync
If youve just started fooling around, and he caresses your hair or something innocuous like that, don’t moan like you are being ravaged by a minotaur. Melodrama during sex is highly annoying. On the other hand, if you are in sync, anything goes including all the sound effects of a jungle. And if one of you does something silly, go ahead and laugh so you both will. After all, were doing it for the fun, right?
Richard Easton is NYCs premier personal matchmaker. For more information on how to submit yourself for consideration into the club, please visit his site.
Related: 10 Quickest Ways To Turn A Guy Off