Your Online Dating Profile Could Land You In The Slammer

Jessica Rubin

Well kids, it looks like the days of sketchy online dating and false information may be behind us. According to Gawker, the White House is intent on making websites’ “Terms of Service” legally binding. Which is completely ridiculous. But what does this mean for mortals who lie about their age, profession and sanity on Facebook and dating websites? Well, you would be committing a criminal act. So off to court you go.

We have some doubts about the success this law will have in Congress, but just in case we thought we’d go head and sketch out some situations. A quick chat with my partners-in-crime here at the StyleCaster office revealed online dating stories that made my skin crawl … often with pure, genuine laughter and delight.

So check out these real life scenarios and whether they would be categorized as misdemeanors or felonies. Join in on the fun by sharing your opinion in the comments section below!

Anonymous Story Number 1: “He said he was a teacher who worked with special needs kids and was a little “quirky.” What he really meant to say was he was manic depressive, lived in a trailer and thoughtSouthPark boxers were a turn-on.”

Our verdict: Misdemeanor. While lying about almost every aspect of your life is a big online-dating “no no,” we find this fellow’s penchant for South Park boxers amusing, thus he saves himself from jail time and instead earns some hefty hours of community service.

Anonymous Story Number 2: “A wealthy man who spent most of his time bragging about his best friend Natalie Portman and his search for an NYC townhouse. Turns out he embezzled millions of dollars from his friends.”

Our verdict: Felony. Not only did he lie to his date, but the dude is a serious scumbag. See you in twenty years, big guy.

Anonymous Story Number 3: “I once started dating a man who told me he had a very well paying job in finance — pretty high up in the company, Wall Street type. He had the clothes and paid for the nice dinners and an apartment that would make anyone’s jaw drop. In reality, he had a sugar daddy he would see on the weekends when he was on ‘business trips’ that funded his whole sham.”

Our verdict: Felony. We have only one word for this one: Creep.

Image courtesy of Seniors Find Seniors.

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