Today, everyone’s Twitter and Facebook feeds blew up with a hilarious new Tumblr: “Texts From Bennett.” Bennett, according to the author, is “a white boy who thinks he’s a Crip, works at Amoco, has a girlfriend named Mercedes,and is one of the most unintentionally funny and brilliant souls on the planet.”
Needless to say, it’s absolutely nuts. Bennett’s spelling issues and obsession with “hoes” make for a really great read, and we couldn’t help but think: Who would he look like? There are plenty of celebrities and movie characters who fit this image — so we decided to make a gallery of seven folks who we think Bennett would resemble.
Take a look above, and make sure to keep up with his magical musings here.
Seth Green's character in Can't Hardly Wait is the ultimate doofy, white kid with race issues. Bennett's faux-urban swagger is definitely reminiscent of Seth's greatest role of his career.
Honestly, read these texts, and tell me you can't imagine Kevin Federline sending them to one of his boyz.
Eminem, a.k.a. Señor Slim Shady, basically inspired this entire counterculture.
THROWBACK! The boy band, Du Jour, from Josie and the Pussycats (yes, the ones who sang "Backdoor Lover"), are all about thinking they're gang members when they're probably from Calabasas.
Check out the guy next to V-Nasty (a member of Kreayshawn's White Girl Mob). Yeah, him.
Bennett seems like the type of dude who hasn't left his couch in awhile. Thus, I present you Beavis and Butt-head.