I would never claim to know the answer to such a question, but New York Times best-selling author Sherry Argov of Why Men Love B*tches has a theory, and women are buying into it. In fact, I got a first-hand testimonial. Well… overheard one.
Last weekend my sister and I hopped the NJ Transit line heading home to visit our family. Soon after we sat, a group of mid 30-40 something women sat directly behind us and commenced the classic girl talk.”I’m reading this great self-help book” one began. “It’s called ‘Why Men Love B*tches.’ “
Apparently, it is a how-to guide on going from “doormat” to “dream girl” in a snap. She has found it quite useful and has put key principles into practice with the man she is dating.
“We’ve been on four dates and it’s been going well. We were supposed to meet on Friday but he canceled. Then late Friday night he calls and asks if I’m still available so I say ‘no’ just like the book says.”
Her friends chime ina la Sex and the City in support of this play.
“Yeah I was proud of myself but then I screwed it up and called him back. He didn’t pick up so I left him a message saying my plans fell through and I was now available. He didn’t call back until the next day but we made plans to meet Tuesday. So it’s fine.”
Now, I would be lying if I said that there isn’t a fair amount of game playing involved in dating. But the games should not be an attempt to manipulate or gain power. Rather a means of presenting yourself in the best possible light while getting to know a potential partner. It should be flirtatious and fun.
The chase if always exciting, no one is refuting that. But you must remain authentic. When faced with a situation where you know you are being taken advantage of—just don’t take it. Don’t feed the issue with more negativity in an effort to control the situation because you will only get more of the same. Move on.
You will find there are men who will call you when they say and take you out every chance they get. All you have to do is believe it. Because when you know your worth, other people want to buy it.