You’re smitten with your new boyfriend, and he’s almost perfect in your eyes — there’s just one minor problem. You have a hunch that he may not be over his ex. Sometimes you wonder if it’s all in your head, but other times you suspect that there may be a method to your madness. Instead of pushing your thoughts aside for a rainy day, pay some closer attention to his actions in order to find out whether or not your suspicions have any validation. Here are some tell-tale signs that your beau is still pining for his ex — meaning, you’d be doing yourself a favor to call it quits or confront him before you find yourself in a serious dating dilemma.
1. Constantly brings her up in conversation
This is obvious sign #1. If he’s talking about her all the time, then clearly he still has feelings for the girl. Even if he speaks about her in a negative way, the fact of the matter is that the thought of her is still fresh in his mind.
2. Compares her to you
If your new boyfriend starts to compare you to his ex, this is a sign that he may not be over her just yet. At first, you may be able to shrug this off with little to no problem, but after a while (if it continues) it’ll be annoying to hear time and time again — not to mention, it’s just not fair to you. Take this as a sign that he has unresolved feelings for his ex and get out.
3. Continues to hang out with her
Your beau insists on hanging out with his ex — frequently. You put up with it because you don’t want to be that girlfriend who creates annoying rules and restrictions for her man, but if you let him walk all over you, you’ll be doing yourself and the relationship a major disservice. Don’t be a pushover; stand up for yourself and voice your opinion if you find it inappropriate for him to constantly spend time with her when he has you too. If he gets defensive about the situation, then he’s just not over his ex. Period.
4. Routinely calls her
Calling his ex routinely is not as bad as hanging out with her frequently, but usually, one leads to the other — and besides, what could these two possibly have to talk about? Again, call him out on it and find out what the deal is before they start having “strictly platonic” sleepovers.
5. Accidentally calls you by her name…
This one is definitely never a good sign, but we’ll give him one get-out-of-jail-free card if the relationship is still new and he’s fresh out of a breakup. BUT, if this happens more than once and he doesn’t profusely apologize for his mistake, don’t let him off the hook so easily. That sting you feel when he mistakes your name for hers is not acceptable and you might want to rethink the relationship.
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6. Holds onto memorabilia from his past relationship
As you get more comfortable in your new relationship, you start to rummage through his apartment only to find little trinkets and gifts from his ex. When you ask him about it and he retorts back with something along the lines of “Oh, I just can’t get rid of that, it kind of holds sentimental value…” then a little red flag should immediately pop into your head. If, however, your guy is the extra sensitive type and he hasn’t committed any of the aforementioned sins, you may still be in the clear.
7. Listens to morbid breakup music…
If your guy insists on listening to morbid music that suggests breaking up anywhere in the lyrics, then it might be a subtle sign that he’s still clinging on to his past relationship — either that, or he’s just plain depressed. Maybe you even caught him playing “their song” on repeat one day in his room. Trust us, this is never a good sign.
8. Brings you to places that remind him of her…
If you thought that place by the tree in the park with the heart engraved on it was your special new spot, think again. Ask him why he constantly takes you to the same specific places. If he’s repeating locations that he and his ex used to frequent, he may be taking you there because it brings back fond memories — that don’t involve you.
9. He’s annoyed that she’s dating someone…
Your boy announces that his ex is in a new relationship and expresses his discontent and disgust at the thought of the idea. Well, news flash! He’s in a new relationship too — and it’s with you — so he should have no reason to fret. Remind him of this important detail, but not before you take note of this definite red flag.
10. He keeps pictures of her…
Lastly, to top off all of his other unacceptable behavior, you discover that for some unknown reason, he still keeps pictures of his ex. It doesn’t matter if they are hidden in his wallet, or out in the open, or even still plastered all over his Facebook page — this will only make you feel uncomfortable and will provide a constant reminder of her presence. This is by far one of the most unnecessary things a guy can do. Either he’s completely oblivious to the fact that he still has images of her lying around (we doubt this) or he’s still infatuated with her. We suggest you start planning your escape — and if naked pictures surface on his phone, exit immediately.