I’m not sure what’s more endearing Anna Dello Russo’s extravagantly lavish wardrobe or her seemingly endless battle with the English language. Still, we Americans are lucky enough to get the editor’s fashion advice straight from the icon’s mouth even when not everything (okay, pretty much nothing) Anna says in Italian translates quite as intended. That, paired with the little fact that she’s not exactly “one of us” makes her advice all the more adorable. For one, she recommends we use ancient Chinese practices to organize our closets and refers to the changing of seasons as a “crucial moment” not because of the rebirth of all things green or the anticipation of warm weather, but because her mother needs her to configure her wardrobe. Seriously. If you’re not in love yet, I’m questioning your sanity.
The good news is my dad is Italian, making me semi-qualified to decode the accidental ADR double speak, more or less. Here it is, straight from her blog with my infinite translational wisdom peppered throughout in bold…
“SPRING has arrived! It’s time to change season into your WARDROBE.Just few people know how to do it, for example my mother misses my presence in family home in crucial moments as this.I’m going to tell you my TOP 10 rules:”
1. Elimina tutta la FUFFA. perch fuffa genera fuffa! I say this in Italian cause the word “FUFFA” is difficult to translate in English, but I try.
1. Remove all RUBBISHbecause rubbish generates rubbish!For all the pack rats out there, listen up! If you haven’t worn it in a year, give it away! FUFFA!
2. How to FENG-SHUI teaches you, you must make new empty ROOM for revitalize your seasonal wardrobe. See? ADR’s all types of worldly.
3. Store only the whole OUTFIT.In a future day, would not make sense to find a simple sweater desperately.I think she’s trying to tell you to pack away your winter clothes come summertime. Either that, or she’s urging you to do the complete opposite. It could really go either way.
4. Buy only thin, non-slip HANGERS in asbestos. Those big, slippery, old, wooden hangers take up too much space. Not sure what the word asbestos is doing in this sentence, but she’s onto something with the thin hangers tip.
5. Organize your closet by ITEMS: coats with coats, dresses with dresses, pants with pants, skirts with skirts …so you wouldn’t buy the same thing twice! Anna, you own pants? I call bullshit.
6. In front of a dress to KILL or to KEEP,ask yourself: future generations ‘ll want to see it?Consulting your unborn is the new black.
7. Put the SHOES away from clothes, in the appropriate boxes with Polaroids.The leather’s smell doesn’t match with the fabric’s smell. If there’s any chance you’ve held onto every box that your shoes have ever come in, channel your latent OCD into Polaroid labeling. Otherwise, Don’t put things that smell next to things that don’t smell.
8. Preserve the stretch STOCKINGS in their packaging.There’s nothing worse than wearing damaged filanca. Seriously. Damaged “stretchy material” is the worst (that’s what Google said filanca is).
9. Don’t SQUEEZE the clothes on each other. like flowers in the garden need their space! Flowers in the garden, gold cherries on the head. To-may-to, To-mah-to.
10. Don’t use ANTI-MOTH chemicals,you don’t want to go out stinking of naphthalene!” Do people really still use moth balls?
And there you have it! Though we may not understand a word she says, gosh darn it, she sure as hell tries.
Photo via AnnaDelloRusso.com