Well, I guess we now know why that whole Spice Girls reunion thing isn’t happening. Hot on the heels of her successful runway show during New York Fashion Week, Victoria Beckham was given a title that’s probably better than a little ole’ something like “Dame.”
Coming as no surprise to anyone that knows and loves the woman who put bandage dresses on the map and never breaks a sweat (because we’re almost positive she had her sweat glands removed), Mrs. David Beckham has been named fashion ambassador to Britain. This was followed by much hulabaloo and fanfare down in the NYC subway as Vicks and some VIPs came together to announce the U.K.’s new “Fashion is Great” campaign (Anna Wintour even deigned to step within inches of mass transit to help celebrate the occassion ).
While her duties have been a bit vague — Olympics, the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and the like — we can think of any inumerable ways Posh can truly live up to her new role:
1. Advise the Queen on how to best match her pill box hats with her orthotics. Just because one has to wear sensible shoes doesn’t mean you should neglect adding a pop of color or perhaps a chic piece of plastic fruit into the mix.
2. Teach Kate Middleton how to scowl. Really, it’s an art form, and Victoria Beckham is the Picasso of aloofness.
3. Begin a nationwide campaign to ensure that all school uniforms include training high heels and a designer clutch.
4. Lobby Parliment to add the words “satorial” and “arm candy” into the British National Anthem.
5. Consult with Geri Halliwell as how to best reintroduce the Union Jack flag into next season’s runway collections. If Ginger Spice can’t convince Sarah Burton that red, white and blue is the new black, then nobody can.