Since Dancing With the Stars involves sequins, and stars, and apparently now Tom DeLay dancing, we feel as though it’s become socially relevant. Tonight will be the second night of live competition, with only eight remaining couples decked in leotards, smiles, and an underlying confusion of what life path brought them to this point.
However impressed we are that Kelly Osborne is there to begin with, we’re guessing a smoking habit mixed with a super-obvious ADD issue won’t lead her too far in the competition. Busty model Joanna Krupa may run into some athleticism issues, due to her, ahem, unbalancing assets, and Chuck Liddell in dancing pants kind of melts our hearts a bit. We hope George Hamilton‘s son Ashley dances without killing anyone, and Kathy Ireland has been looking a little too orange we think.
Anyway, here are our top 3 predictions on who will take home…well, whatever it is that they take home.

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff
Approaching the world of dance with only baggy pants and a childlike sense of wonder, Carter has both the stamina of an ex-boy band brother, and the integrity of someone who was briefly on another reality show. (How we wish House of Carters was renewed for a second season.) We could see him sashaying to ballroom greatness.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson
Having a variety show for years should almost put you on the professionals level, we imagine. Especially when one of your talents involves smiling so intensely for so long and having insanely white teeth. Good for you, Donny!

Debi Mazar and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
If you watch Entourage, you are aware of what a ballbuster Mazar is, and we’re guessing that will continue to translate onto the dance floor as well. Last night was just the mens’ debut, but we have high hopes for this one.

