We get it, there are some questions that you’d just rather ask Google than your best friend or even your gyno. But instead of leaving your burning sex questions to strangers on the interwebs, we’ve asked some super-qualified experts for the all the answers on everything from penis injuries to squirting. You can thank us later.
Can I really break his penis?
Well, it’s not a bone, but you can definitely injure it. “It is possible to fracture a penis due to trauma during particularly vigorous sex or masturbation,” confirms ob-gyn Alyssa Dweck, M.D., coauthor of V is for Vagina. “The erect penis is engorged with blood. Forceful bending of the erect penis during aggressive sexual play, can lead to this serious injury.” Yikes. What should you do if you think this has happened to your man? Head to the ER! “Urgent surgical treatment is recommended,” says Dweck.
What should I do if the condom comes off inside me?
First, don’t panic. Crazily enough, this is totally common, says Dweck. “Retrieve the condom and insure it is intact,” she instructs. “Even if you think there is no spillage of contents, if you are not using another form of contraception such as the pill or IUD, I recommend emergency contraception ASAP if you don’t desire pregnancy.” Next? Get tested if it’s at all possible that either you or your partner could have an STD.
Why don’t I ever orgasm during sex? What can I do?
First of all, nothing is wrong with you. In most cases, this is just a matter of finding the right spot. “Many women will not have an orgasm with vaginal intercourse alone and more direct clitoral stimulation from a partner or through masturbation does the trick,” Dweck explains. If that doesn’t work, your lack of orgasm could be due to chronic medical issues (including diabetes, cardiovascular disease and depression to name a few), medications like antidepressants, poor body image, relationship troubles, hormonal changes or even stress. All of these things can affect orgasm and libido.
Is it possible to pee during sex?
Not really. It’s more likely that you feel the urge to pee, which is actually good news according to Emily Morse, Ph.D., host of Sex With Emily. “This means your G-spot is being hit in the right way, and you might be close to orgasm,” Morse explains. “While it is possible to leak urine during sex, especially if the bladder is really full, I suspect this is actually not urine at all but rather female ejaculation which can occur during orgasm,” (see: Squirting) says Dweck.
How can you prevent queefing during sex?
Unfortunately, you can’t really, it’s just one of those natural phenomena we have no control over. “Queefing is due to trapped air in the vagina and can occur during or after intercourse,” says Dweck.
Is it normal to get really wet during sex?
Yes, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little liquid–or a lot, says Dweck. If you’re having the opposite problem, grab some lube. Bonus: Lots of lubrication can make it even easier to orgasm.
Is anal sex/anal play totally unsanitary?
Not if you’re sanitary about it! “Condoms will help to protect from bacteria/feces during anal sex play,” Dweck says. And make sure you use a separate condom if you switch from anal to vaginal or oral sex to avoid any bacteria moving around. “I suggest condoms and plenty of lubricant during anal sex.”
What exactly is squirting?
Squirting is when a woman releases fluid around the urethra, says Morse. “This release is tied to intense G-spot stimulation,” she says. One thing to note is that it is not urine, though people often think it is. “It’s actually very similar to male semen, minus the sperm,” Morse points out. And despite what your guy might have seen in porn, it’s not something that happens to all women all the time.
What’s the deal with curved penises?
Penises come in every size, shape, and color (just like vaginas!). Some curve up, down or sideways while erect. “This is very common and shouldn’t be of concern unless he is experiencing pain or it interferes with sex,” says Morse. “If a mans penis starts to change and gets curvier over time, he might have Peyronie’s disease which can come from injuring himself during sex,” (see: breaking a penis). If this is the case he should go see his doctor. Otherwise a curved penis is totally normal and might just hit you in all the right places (lucky girl).
I’m heterosexual but get turned on by girl-on-girl porn. Is that weird?
No, “it means that you’re turned on by watching women have sex,” simplifies Morse. “It’s very common for women to be turned on by watching other women have sex in porn.” That said, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to have sex with a woman—just like you may fantasize about sex with a stranger with no intention of having a one night stand. Interesting, right?
What do I do if his penis is uncomfortably big (or uncomfortably small)?
Just talk about it! Don’t be ashamed to address sexual issues, especially if you’re in pain or you’re not enjoying sex. Morse assures that if he’s too small and is unable to please you during intercourse, there are obviously plenty of other things he can do. “Let him know how good it feels when he uses his fingers or mouth on you, or how sexy it is to watch him tease you with his hands.” So what if the guy is too big for comfort? “Use a lot of lubricant during intercourse, and go slow,” says Morse. She also suggests favoring cowgirl over missionary: “The woman on top position is best because you’re more in control of the motions and can slowly lower yourself down until it feels just right,” she suggests.
He’s awful at oral, how do I help?
Every woman requires different types of stimulation during oral sex because every woman’s body is different. So it’s important to speak up and tell him what you like—something as simple as “slow down baby”, or “a little to the left” might be all the direction he needs. “If he doesn’t listen or take instructions very well, you can always show him with your fingers which areas are most sensitive along with the pressure, speed and motion you need,” Morse recommends. “Then he can follow along with his tongue and improve his oral skills to your liking.”
This article was originally published on Women’s Health.
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