Being good in bed isn’t that hard, guys: Pay attention to what you’re doing, care about what you’re doing, and listen to the person you’re doing it with. That said, there are still plenty of errors both men and women make when it comes to sex. We’ve already covered the things we might be doing wrong, so now it’s time to address the dudes’ potential faux-pas. Here, 9 mistakes that men often make between the sheets.
You gyp your partner.
Women love foreplay for a few reasons, but mainly it’s because skipping it makes sex feel incredibly rushed. Yes, there are times when sex is so gotta-have-it-now that foreplay is absolutely unthinkable, but for the most part women need it to get in the mood. Sorry, we can’t always turn it on and off in a split-second like you guys.
You assume we’re satisfied.
Sex is a two-way street, guys. Just because you were satisfied, you can’t assume we were too. Unless you made a real effort to make it pleasurable for us, well, it may not have been. Keep in mind that not all women can have an orgasm simply from sex and may need a little extra assistance, so it’s foolish to just assume we had one if you didn’t help try to make it happen.
You ignore our fantasies.
Newsflash: Women have fantasies. We thrive on emotions. We’ve read 50 Shades of Gray and we liked it. We gossip about sex just as much as you do, if not more, so it’s worth your while to ask what we like—and what we’d like to try.
You forget to manscape.
You know how you’re not exactly thrilled if we don’t shave under our arms or our legs? Well, we feel the same way about, um, your hair down there. In case you’re not tuned in to the new term manscaping, it’s basically defined as the removal or trimming of your pubic hair. Thanks in advance.
You’re totally predictable.
Sex shouldn’t always be predictable! Believe it or not, women don’t always want to have sex in the exact same position every time, and usually prefer it to be the opposite of routine, so get on board with shaking things up.
You’re not into oral sex.
For most women, receiving oral sex is an absolute necessity, plain and simple. It should be something you do frequently because you know we love it. There’s nothing sexy about a man with hang-ups.
Coffee lines, doctor’s visits, and DMV appointments are all things that should be quick. Sex, on the other hand, shouldn’t be. While you can’t put an estimated time on how long sex should be—there’s no universal average, because all women have different preferences—but you should focus on making it long enough to be pleasurable for both of you.
You’re not ever dominant.
There’s nothing wrong with being the boss in bed—Most women like being flipped around and pushed up against walls. you like it when we do it to you, right? Don’t be afraid to take control sometimes.
You split after sex.
Always leaving the second after you climax isn’t cool, it’s actually pretty nasty. If you had the time to engage in sex with us, you have the time to stay for a while.
Carly Spindel has inadvertently been in the matchmaking business since she was six years old. Now, she’s the vice president of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc. (check them out at JanisSpindelMatchMaker.com) and has “officially” been matching couples for four years.