Scarlett Johansson’s New Man JGL: Upgrade Or Downgrade?

Spencer Cain

It’s safe to say that actress and “singer” Scarlett Johannson is a serial dater. In her mere 26 years of existence, she’s managed to make her way through half of Hollywood’s A-list without breaking a sweat. (I mean, seriously. I don’t know when this girl has the time to rest.) Now Us Weekly is reporting that ScarJo was getting hot and heavy with 50/50 star Joseph Gordon-Levitt in New York City last month and apparently they shared a date at the restaurant Hundred Acres in Greenwich Village in July.

I’m a big fan of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Not only do I think he’s a talented actor, he’s a cutie too. But considering Miss Johannson’s experienced nature, it’s only natural to wonder how he stacks up against some of her former loves. Is he an upgrade or a downgrade? Let’s evaluate!

  • (Upgrade) She was most recently linked to Sean Penn. A lot of people were creeped out by them as a couple (probably because of the age difference — he’s 51), but I sort of liked them. Admittedly, he’s kind of a womanizer and used to have a lot of anger manangement issues, but ScarJo and Seanie were a classic Hollywood duo. You can just tell that she was stoked to be dating such a legendary actor (I’m sure his ridiculous net worth didn’t hurt either), but I’m also sure her (reportedly) clingy nature probably turned him off.
  • (Downgrade) Her two year marriage to Ryan Reynolds went up in flames and frankly, that makes sense to me. They were both so young at the time of their wedding, and I feel like it was totally a shallow relationship. I know I’m in no position to make that call, but that really seems like the case. He was probably thrilled to be with a voluptuous babe with her own money, and she looked like she happy to just walk down the street and show off her highly coveted husband and his famous six-pack abs. A mismatch for sure.
  • (MAJOR Upgrade) I’m absolutely obsessed with her relationship with Jared Leto and not just because I’m in love with him. He was clearly a HUGE a-hole to her, as evidenced in the classic photograph where she is passionately kissing him and he is passionately looking at his BlackBerry. Whatever. She was 19 and he was Jordan Catalano. We all make mistakes.
  • (Too close to call) Who could forget her relationship with Pearl Harbor star Josh Hartnett? They were so cute, and he was obviously equally as into her as she was with him. Personally, looking back on her dating history, I think he might make the most sense. Also, they dated from 2005 to 2007, so it was when he actually had a movie career!

As for JGL (drum roll, please), I’m calling it a total UPGRADE. He’s smart, owns a cool website, takes chances in his career and (just like ScarJo) was a child actor who didn’t end up on an episode of E! True Hollywood Story. Not only is he age-appropriate, he isn’t too famous, and his down-to-earth nature will serve their relationship well. Here’s hoping this one is a bigger hit than her last album!

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