Happy Valentine’s Day, folks! Whether you’re single or flying solo, there’s never a bad time to take stock of your sex life, and look at ways you can make yours more honest and satisfying. This year, I think it’s important that we take care of ourselves more than we ever have before. As you head into this Valentine’s Day and the days and weeks that follow, I encourage you to incorporate your own sexuality into your thoughts of betterment.
Here are some areas you may want to explore:
Learn more about your anatomy. Be comfortable seeing it, touching it, naming it, communicating about it, to not only your partner, but to a trusted doctor as well. If you don’t know what a body part is called or how it works, ask someone or look it up! Read books about sexuality— and if you really want to broaden your horizons this year, read about a sexual topic you don’t identify with or know anything about.
Take Care of Your Sexual Health
It’s never too late to start getting routine checkups and STI testing. Call your doctor and make the appointment, or visit your local Planned Parenthood or other clinic to get a checkup, get tested, and discuss birth control options (if needed!). Bonus points for encouraging a partner, friend, or family member to go with you and do the same.
Get in Touch with Yourself
No, really—TOUCH yourself. Masturbation has many, many benefits, so make it a goal to explore a bit more. Incorporate lube and toys, and experiment with insertion if you want to. Daydream about the fantasies that get you off. Seduce yourself. It’s been proven that once we know what gets us off, we’re much more likely to be able to share that info with a lover.
Try Something New
Of course, this all depends on your comfort zone, but you know that thing that’s been on your mind that you fantasized about once or your partner wants to try and you’re curious yet nervous about? Make a sexual bucket list (as well as a Yes/No/Maybe list)! Be adventurous. Be bold. Use lube, communicate, and go slow! Good luck.
Maybe you aren’t feeling so sexual. Maybe you actually identify as asexual—and that’s ok, too. Honor exactly where you are right now, and focus on your body in other ways. Here’s to a happy Valentine’s Day—and a sexy one, if that’s what you want.