Newsweek is taking a decidedly non-fiction approach to a recent story, which is odd since, you know, it’s a news magazine. In guessing what Lady Diana would be like had she lived, Newsweek first speculates that she basically would have become a Real Housewife, “There is no doubt she would have kept her chin taut with strategic Botox shots and her bare arms buff from the gym. Remarriage? At least two, I suspect, on both sides of the Atlantic.” Apparently, she would also have been the jealous type, “Among her global girlfriend set, she might view Queen Ranias beauty, youth, and social conscience as a triple threat that should be watched. After some initial competitiveness with Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, shed have probably bonded with her at the G20 dinner over ways to dodge Berlusconi.” Well, at least she and Carla would have been friends, right?
But, that jealousy may have extended to Kate Middleton, “The rising public adoration of Kate would have afforded Diana some tricky moments. Pleased, yes. But, like Frances Shand Kyddwho, days before Dianas wedding, suddenly burst out, I have good long legs, like my daughterDiana would have had to adjust to a broadening of the limelight.”
But the oddest part about this whole odd story is that photo of Kate looking at a weirdly tanned, rather wrinkled Diana. Wasn’t there a mention of Botox in this fantasy? She’d be 50, not 70, Newsweek art department.