The cruelest day you could ever break up with someone would have to be Valentine’s Day. Breaking up with someone on their birthday’s pretty harsh too, but Valentine’s Day is the absolute worst. What makes it so heartless is that on the morning of February 14, your significant other is waking up thinking, “It sure is great to be in a committed relationship on Valentine’s Day for a change!” But come February 15, you’re the one that will forever be referred to as, “That a-hole that dumped me on Valentine’s Day! Valentine’s Day! Who does that?!”
Well, for anyone who has been dumped on Valentine’s Day (or ever, for that matter), here’s a playlist of the Top 10 Breakup Songs and the post breakup rituals you should be doing while listening to each.
1. “Nothing Compares to You” by Sinead OConnor (I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got, above)
Post Breakup Ritual: Wearing nothing but sweats and eating diner food at odd hours — alone.
2. “How Do I Live (Without You)” by LeAnn Rimes (You Light Up My Life)
Post Breakup Ritual: Browsing all your coupled Facebook photos thinking of how pretty you looked in all of them. Emphasis on the past tense.
3. “Dont Speak” by No Doubt (Tragic Kingdom)
Post Breakup Ritual: Untagging all of your coupled Facebook photos. Formerly, this song was for burning photos, but who has physical photos anymore?
4. “Un-Break My Heart” by Toni Braxton (Secrets)
Post Breakup Ritual: Singing along to this song and crying in the shower that you’ve already been in for 43 minutes.
6. “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” by The Shirelles (The Shirelles)
Post Breakup Ritual: Driving by his house, secretly hoping he comes out so the two of you can make deep eye contact, which will inevitably incite him to ask for your forgiveness.
7. “Against All Odds” By Phil Collins (Love Songs)
Post Breakup Ritual: Throwing out all of his stuff and heavily criticizing him for owning it even if it’s completely practical. Example: “What a stupid toothbrush! What kind of bristles are these anyway?!”
8. “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette (Jagged Little Pill)
Post Breakup Ritual: Getting drunk with your girlfriends to the point where all you keep repeating is, “That a-hole that dumped me on Valentine’s Day! Valentine’s Day! Who does that?!”
9. “Youve Lost That Loving Feeling” by Righteous Brothers (The Righteous Brothers Unchained Melody)
Post Breakup Ritual: Frosting the third cake you unnecessarily baked that day.
10. “You Could Be Happy” by Snow Patrol (Eyes Open)
Post Breakup Ritual: Deleting his phone number from your cell phone so that you’ll stop getting tempted to call and beg him to take you back. You do however keep his number saved under a different name.