9 Common Mistakes Women Make While Masturbating

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Woman Masturbating
Photo: STYLECASTER/Tory Rust

When it comes to masturbating, everyone is different. The thing that cranks you up may do nothing for the next person. It takes trial and error and considerable time experimenting to figure out what gets the job done—and even then, it can help to switch things up every now and then.

If you’re interested in exploring the possibility of taking your self-pleasure skills to a new level, we can help. We asked experts about some common mistakes women make that can limit the satisfaction they get out of masturbation. Ahead, find out how to make pleasuring yourself feel even better.

Pace Yourself

Mistake: Racing to orgasm

Fix: Take it slow! “Masturbating is a great way to relieve stress and get to know your body,” says Jaclinne Cheng, founder and CEO of Spicy Lingerie. “While orgasm feels wonderful, get to know and enjoy the sensual goddess that you are, rather than just focusing on getting off and moving on to the next part of your day.”

Make it an Event

Mistake: Not giving yourself enough time to enjoy it

Fix: Maybe it’s because you’re shy or you only have 10 minutes before you have to head out the door, but either way, take the time to give yourself the pleasure you deserve. “This means setting up an environment that is pleasing and comfortable,” says Bethany Ricciardi, Too Timid’s sex experts. “Light some candles, take a warm shower or bath, slip on something slinky, and put on music that makes you feel frisky. In essence—seduce yourself! Creating a mood that’s conducive to relaxation and pleasure is important to women during masturbation.”

Take the Pressure Off

Mistake: Trying to make masturbation like sex

Fix: Masturbating is inevitably different than sex. This is the time to try new things and get in touch and tune with your body, says Cheng. “Try exploring sensitive parts of your body to increase sensuality, using different kinds of porn and lube, see what you like. When you get to know your body through masturbation, not only will your sex life improve because you’ll know what to ask for, but your relationship with yourself will as well.”

Use Toys

Mistake: Only using your fingers

Fix: If you haven’t already, buy your first beginner’s vibe! “If you thought you got big O’s with your fingers, you’ll love this new sensation,” says Ricciardi. “Vibrators offer more intense stimulation that can lead to multiple orgasms. When you add in a toy to masturbation it’s best to go slowly and see what speed works best. Using a sex toy on your own during masturbation is also a great way to learn which toys you’d like to bring into playtime for your partner to use on you.”

MORE: Why It’s Time to Try Mutual Masturbation If You Haven’t Yet

Shop Around

Mistake: Using the same vibrator you’ve had for years

Fix: Try new products! There are literally hundreds of different styles, shapes, colors, and sizes of sex toys on the market. “Whether you’re using a tiny bullet vibe to stimulate your clitoris or a dual-rotating vibrator that gives you internal and external stimulation, try new things,” says Kenna Cook, a sex educator. “Your body changes over time and so does the your sexual response. Get to know yourself as you change.”

Try Porn

Mistake: Being shy about using porn to turn you on

Fix: Not all of us have wild imaginations that can get us in the mood. “There are plenty of media materials out there that can help guide you into a better masturbation experience. Try reading an erotic novel or watching your favorite steamy sex scene from movie,” says Cheng.

Experiment with Anal

Mistake: You’ve never tried anal stimulation

Fix: Anal isn’t for everyone, but FYI, the anus is quite sensitive to the touch—yes, even your own touch! “Many women enjoy stimulation of this area during masturbation,”says Ricciardi. “The best way to experiment is starting with your fingers or anal toys. I think trying it first with clitoral or vaginal stimulation is the easiest way to introduce it, but you can always try experiencing anal stimulation by itself right off the bat.”

MORE: 8 Crazy Sex Positions For A More Adventurous Weekend

Lube Up

Mistake: Forgetting to use lube

How to make it right: Lubricant isn’t just for partner-penetrative sex. “My go-to tip: The wetter, the better!” says Cook. “Lube will create less friction for your genitals, which can help to increase pleasure, especially if you masturbate in an object in the same position on the same body part for an extended period of time.”

Change the Scenery

Mistake: You always stay in bed

Fix: Moving around to new locations can be a big turn-on. Try using furniture and appliances in your own house, says Ricciardi. “Don’t be afraid to lie on your stomach and move against an object to stimulate the clitoris. Rubbing against the corner of a piece of furniture might do the trick! Riding a pillow is another great way; you can bunch it up or twist the ends into a hard knot and press it up against your clit. My favorite option is to take that detached shower head you thought was just for washing hair and target it right at your lady parts and send a steady water stream onto the nipples or clit.”

Get in Shape

Mistake: You never do anything to keep vagina in shape

Fix: Maybe you’re feeling bored because you haven’t done anything different since you first started masturbating—including keeping the muscles down there strong. “If you’re craving longer, stronger orgasms, try kegels!” says Ricciardi. “These strengthen your pelvic floor, making every climax contraction more powerful. Pay attention to your body, you could make these orgasms 10 times better with some squeezes.”

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