Man Repelling Runway Fashion Trends – A Regular Guy Weighs In

Kristen
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L to R: Manish Arora Fall 2010, Jeremy Scott Fall 2010.

A particular long gray belted cardigan recently came between two people who were very much in love. She found it to be a practical and utilitarian essential in her spring-into-summer transitional wardrobe. He found the cardigan dowdy and secretly blamed it for covering up what he thought were his girlfriend’s best assets. All of them.

As the days passed and the temperature continued to rise, so did their levels of irritation toward one another. For every Margiela piece she debuted, he winced. A grand Moschino entrance in neon? He sighed. Sought-after Miu Miu pleats went unnoticed and his thousand-yard stare spoke volumes about his indifference to anything other than tight and revealing.

What was to be a romantic weekend getaway in Berlin quickly escalated into a series of heated arguments about many different things (sartorial and otherwise). And then, on the day they were to return home, in a frantic moment of re-packing an overstuffed suitcase while running 45 minutes late for the airport, she finally snapped. Blind with rage, she decided to make a big show of wrapping her muddied Pour La Victoire booties in the controversial gray sweater and zipping the suitcase shut. Big mistake. Shortly thereafter the volatile relationship combusted forever and she was out one loser boyfriend and her favorite sweater.

The moral of this story is don’t let anyone dictate your fashion choices. Especially when it comes to choosing boyfriends and cardigans. But this story has a happy ending because our style-loving heroine went on to dazzle many adoring suitors who applauded her panache and loved her no matter what she was wearing (even if they were cringing just a little bit on the inside).

We’re taking a look at some of the fashion trends that may leave some guys making a mad dash for the door, and others basking in the glow and good company of their fashionable ladies. To get a proper guy’s perspective, we’ve enlisted the help of an open minded male friend of our own, Lucas Carter, The Weinstein Company’s Director of Production and Development.

Outrageous Volume
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Viktor & Rolf, Fall 2010 runway.

Is he as confident as he seems? Find out quickly by stepping out in something hugely voluminous like this outerwear piece from Viktor & Rolf. Lucas imagines this is like “dating Tilda Swinton or some sort of a Gothic church gargoyle.”

Added bonus: if you can fit into the backseat of a cab, he may just rest his head on your (greatly exaggerated) shoulder.

The Avant-Garde
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L to R: Jeremy Scott Fall 2010 runway, Threeasfour Fall 2010 runway.

Jeremy Scott is one of a handful of designers who can always be counted on for true statement pieces. Yet, somehow this double dress feels like a failed menage-a-trois, or worse ventriloquist inspired so maybe not the best choice for a budding romance.

From our guy’s perspective, Jeremy Scott’s design is “perfect and basically implies ‘I’m here for at least two days and that includes evening formal events as well as any field work that might be required hence the boots.’ Also makes a profound statement about weight loss.”

Slightly less crowded but equally as daring is the tangled dress by Threeasfour. It certainly doesn’t lend itself to kanoodling, as his cufflinks would surely catch and unravel the delicate webbing in a matter of moments.

Revisiting Retro
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Louis Vuitton Fall 2010 runway.

For those who attended the Fall 2010 Louis Vuitton show in Paris earlier this year, they were audience to some of the most voluptuous and well-endowed ladies of the runway filling out the Fifties and Sixties-inspired looks. Many of the most celebrated pieces featured plunging corseted tops complete with lace trim, but some true fashionistas will want to take in the entire collection including this generously proportioned suit.

The least popular of all the looks, Lucas thinks he’d “probably fake a stomach ache, head directly to some sort of a secret tree fort and just live off the land alone for eternity” before indulging his second date in this outfit.

Over-the-top Shoes
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A gilded shoe-boot from Alexander McQueen’s Fall 2010 collection.

Shoes have been taken to new heights over the past few seasons and the late Alexander McQueen’s final collection was no exception. While we feel the angel wing shoe is pretty much a masterpiece of concept and design, our male counterpart thinks his aunt in California recently made something similar with a hot glue gun and some catalog items from the Oriental Trading Company. “There’s a lot going on here, though I suppose given what could come out of the haute closet, this isn’t the worst idea in comparison to the Viktor & Rolf jacket.”

Questionable Headwear
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L to R: Maison Martin Margiela Fall 2010 runway, Moschino Cheap & Chic Fall 2010 runway.

These two very different looks are ripe for critique. Maison Martin Margiela’s over-sized, furry trapper hat will surely be re-engineered on a slightly more wearable scale, but what does our resident male think about Moschino Cheap & Chic’s handbag as headwear? “Hard to tell what exactly is going on here. Kim Catrall should be consulted.”

Of the Margiela, Lucas thinks “This is kind of awesome. Not for real life of course, but in a Fantastic Mr. Fox sort of way. I would have to respect the woman who wears this.”

Back to School Marm
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Marni Fall 2010 runway.

It just wouldn’t be Fall without another version of the school marm aesthetic. A classic look, the rich textures and colors always catch our attention, but is it too dowdy for the boys? Apparently, not at all. While the covered up approach to dressing is always practical, Lucas thinks these Marni looks are “sexy in a Wonder Years kind of way.”

Absurd Eyewear
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L to R: Hussein Chalayan Fall 2010 runway.

Hussein Chalayan’s show was a virtual U.S.-inspired road trip that started in New York with tailored suit pieces, wound through the tornado states with pieces that looked like they had been whipped right over the models’ heads and finally settling in California with glitzy gowns that evoked a darker side of Hollywood, complete with huge, frame-less glasses that spelled out “mirage” in cursive letters. Perhaps Chalayan’s theatrical statement on the American landscape is best left to the subtlety of the clothes as our poll gave the eyewear a resounding “no!”

Animal Prints (For the Advanced)
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Christopher Kane Spring 2009 runway

While these infamous Christopher Kane mandrill print dresses are actually from the designer’s Spring 2009 collection, we just had to take the opportunity to hear what goes on in the male psyche when he spots one of these jungle prints out in the wild. Lucas’ final statement: “Actually, this look is not a disaster. Nothing I would want to publicly deal with or hail a taxi cab near, but aside from that, it gets a pass.”

What do you think of these high fashion runway looks? Let us know in the comments!

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