You’ve heard it a million times relationships are all about compromise. These are words to live by in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. It sounds simple enough, but things really get blurry when it comes to knowing which issues are worth standing your ground over versus when it’s time to give up the fight. Many people view compromise as some sort of defeat or with an “I lost” the battle attitude, which is one of the top reasons a relationship fails. Keep in mind that as scary as the word sounds, compromising is about two people meeting each other halfway to come to a mutual agreement or understanding.
No one says it’s supposed to be easy, but it comes with the whole “we’re mature adults now” territory. Of course, there are certain issues you should never compromise on, like cheating or anything that affects your well-being, emotional or otherwise. If you’re having a hard time figuring out how to make your relationship work, then think of this as your mini relationship handbook. Keep reading for the five most important things to keep in mind when compromising with your significant other.
1. It doesn’t work if one person is doing all the compromising
The word mutual is key here. You’re never going to both come out 100% happy every time, but it’s important to try and get as close to a win/win agreement as possible. If one person is always the one doing the sacrificing, then the resentment will build over time.
2. Don’t take advantage
It’s inevitable that one person may have to sacrifice a bit more than the other for any given issue, but you have to be able to trust that just because you’re making a slightly bigger concession, you’re not going to get walked all over.
3. Don’t make promises you can’t keep
If you really feel like you won’t be able to stick to the compromise, then don’t say you can just for the sake of cutting an argument short. The same issue will eventually come up again, and the next time will be a lot worse.
4. You need to have a good attitude about it
If you’re willing to make the sacrifice, then you need to do it with a good attitude. Doing something with a bad attitude is just as bad as not doing it at all. There’s nothing worse than someone giving into something, and knowing they’re bitter about it the whole time. This brings in the issue of guilt, which will just lead to even bigger problems than before.
5. No one is a mind reader
You can’t expect a compromise on something if your significant other doesn’t know how much the issue bothers you. It’s all about communication. The minute you feel it, speak it. Don’t let it fester that’s exactly how things get blown out of proportion.