Make Sex Last a Lot Longer with These 8 Sex Positions

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Riding Astride
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Illustration by: Jenny Yuen/Candace Napier

I like quickies as much as the next girl. Frankly, if they weren’t a regular part of my fiancé’s and my bedroom repertoire, we’d be getting laid far less frequently. Life is busy, sleep is hard enough to come by, yadda yadda… But a nice, long, lingering sex session—with the eight sex positions we’re about to show you—is absolutely worth making time for every now and then.

MORE: 12 Morning Sex Routines to Start Your Day Off Right

I was reminded of this a few months ago while reporting articles on slow sex and tantra, when I decided to give some of these tricks a shot. Rather than racing to the finish line so we could pass out, resume Netflix, beat the brunch lines—whatever—my partner and I focused wholly on one another and the immediate sensations we felt. Since it takes a bit to let the real world (and all its unsexy stressors) fall away, we found that we were able to achieve a much deeper state of relaxation, connection, and pleasure when we carved out a good hour or so to just roll around in bed and see what happened.

MORE: 8 Easy Ways to Have More (and Better) Sex Right Now

To help you achieve your own quest for longer-lasting sex, I asked Marissa Nelson, LMFT, certified sex therapist and founder of IntimacyMoons Retreats which positions are most conducive to unhurried, not-so-quick-to-come sex. Below, check out her top recommendations (which also got the thumbs-up from her husband) for moves that will help you and your partner last.

A version of this article was originally published in March 2017.

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STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Riding Astride
Riding Astride

"Couch lovin' is some good stuff, and riding astride does the trick," says Nelson. "It's gravity-friendly, relaxed, and doesn't include too many bells and whistles that could physically overstimulate either partner."

*Gay and hetero-friendly

Illustration: Jenny Yuen
STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Scissors
Scissors

"This position allows for a deep and unique angle for women, allowing for her G-spot to be hit by either a thrusting penis or sex toy," says Nelson. "Male partners have an opportunity to take things at their own pace, allowing him to last longer. And female couples can get some nice grinding action going, which they can use as a slow lead-up to orgasm, which might be achieved through a sex toy or oral or digital play, if not the grinding itself."

*Lesbian and hetero-friendly

Illustration: Jenny Yuen
STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Sybian
Sybian

"Put that ottoman to work without being constricted," says Nelson. "Men, when you're getting close, communicate, communicate, communicate to make sure your partner's on the same page."

*Gay and hetero-friendly

Illustration: Jenny Yuen
STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Butterfly
Butterfly

"This position allows the kneeling partner to thrust and go the distance without deep penetration," says Nelson. "Thrusting slightly upward, the man has gravity on his side while enjoying a full-frontal view and easy access to his partner."

*Gay and hetero-friendly

Illustration: Jenny Yuen
STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Spoons
Spoons

"The spoon can be a lot of physical stimulation for male partners, depending on the angle they're entering from behind, so this might trigger some guys faster than others," says Nelson. "However, with both partners on their sides, you can take things at your own pace, changing the speed and depth of thrusting as needed. For female couples, this can be a fun position where one partner grinds her ass into the other's lap, while the other stimulates the small spoon's clit."

*Gay, lesbian, and hetero-friendly

Illustration: Jenny Yuen
STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Reverse Sybian
Reverse Sybian

"The top partner can control how fast he or she moves, slowing down as needed if either partner gets turned on too fast," says Nelson. "Essentially, there's a lot of control, so you can take it at your own pace."

*Gay and hetero-friendly

Illustration: Jenny Yuen
STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Screw
Screw

"The screw is similar in mechanics and motion to the butterfly, putting gravity and pace of thrust on the side of the kneeling male partner," says Nelson. "That will allow him to go for as long he can."

*Gay and hetero-friendly

Illustration: Jenny Yuen
STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Intersextion
Intersextion

"Intersextion functions similar to scissors, so male partners can take their time achieving maximum penetration, while female couples can enjoy some sexy friction — oh, and feel free to use your hands to zoom in on each others' clits," says Nelson.

*Lesbian, gay, and hetero-friendly

Illustration: Jenny Yuen

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  • STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Riding Astride
  • STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Scissors
  • STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Sybian
  • STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Butterfly
  • STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Spoons
  • STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Reverse Sybian
  • STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Screw
  • STYLECASTER | Longer Sex Positions | Intersextion

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