Ok, let me preface this by saying that not all guys have a problem with the “boyfriend” label. I’m talking about a certain breed of guys who can’t seem to let go of the many connotations that come along with taking things from casual hook up to relationship status. And let me tell you, in the New York dating scene or any large city for that matter there is no shortage of these type of guys.
After a very enlightening conversation with a good male friend of mine, I’ve gained a little more insight into why the opposite sex has such an aversion to taking things to the next level. I don’t necessarily agree with everything he said, but he makes some pretty interesting points. I still think that the commitment and security that come along with making someone your “boyfriend” far outweigh the cons. At the end of the day, I think that the aversion boils down to a maturity thing. It’s simply a matter of not being ready to compromise, a huge part of all relationships.
Read on for a look at his side of the argument, and be sure to comment and let me know which of his points if any you agree with.
Cons of the boyfriend label… a guy’s perspective:
- You can’t be greedy or selfish anymore Now, you have to buy presents on major holidays/birthdays.
- Along the same lines of greed, there’s more pressure to “pay for sh*t all the time.”
- You have to compromise on things like where you spend the night, meaning you’ll end up having to play the away game a lot more than before.
- There’s more fear and a greater pressure to not let the other person down, whether it’s cheating or something similar that you didn’t have to worry so much about in a hooking up situation.
- Hooking up doesn’t have to have an expiration date unless someone does something stupid or there’s an event that triggers the end.
- There’s a fear that as a girlfriend, the girl will act completely different and become a little crazy and very demanding vs. the “cool” girl she led you to think she is.
- From a guys perspective, whats the point of a label if you’re in the kind of situation that is basically all the components of “dating” but without the label of boyfriend/girlfriend?
- It’s just easier to keep things label free than to have to have that dramatic “next level” converstaion.