Want to know how to cook up a divorce real fast? We’ve got the recipe, brought to you by none other than Khloe Kardashian:
Start by dating a pro basketball player (in this case Lamar Odom), date him for approximately a month, get engaged, plan the wedding in two weeks, get married just so you can get it out of the way before training begins, and then throw in a pinch of ‘angry ex-girlfriend’ to seal the deal.
We hate to say it Khloe, but all signs point to the courthouse for you and your new lover, Lamar.
Just a day after the couple’s wedding, another warning sign comes in the form of an audio recording of Odom’s ex-girlfriend. In the 9:37 minute audio recording of Lara Manoukian, the jaded ex dishes to a friend about the LA Lakers player’s newfound romance, and what she has to say about it.
Below, our top 5 quotes from Manoukian:
5. “I treated that fool like a king, I mean from cooking to cleaning his place to– anything you can think of, I’ve done for that man.” [Your fault, woman. Should have kicked his ass in gear, when you had the chance.]
4. “This bitch hasn’t even dealt with you through the season. You haven’t even gone through your first fight.” [She has a point.]
3. “He’s lost…he’s soulless.” [Sigh…]
2. “He goes to another Armenian girl and then the Armenian girl is fake. She doesn’t even know her culture, doesn’t eat her food, she’s gotten all kinds of surgery done. I’m the real shit, from my titties to my ass. Never gotten nothing done…You know they put extensions in their hair? My hair is allll real. Like, all real. Everything about me has been a blessing from god.” [Like, someone needs to go rent He’s Just Not That Into You.]
1. “The fool tried to get me pregnant a couple months ago. That’s whats so crazy.” [Upcoming scandal perhaps?]