The Big Secret Behind Lady Gaga’s Wildest Shoes

Julie Gerstein
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The Big Secret Behind Lady Gaga’s Wildest Shoes
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Lady Gaga can change her look faster than we can blink. Right now, she’s probably got a team of stylists and makeup artists transforming her into an elf, or a wraith, or a bush. Who knows? Whatever her next look is, you can be sure it’ll be a fully-realized masterpiece. And you can bet her shoes will be even more shocking.

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Let’s face it: The footwear she’s become famous for doesn’t exactly scream “comfort!”—remember those Alexander McQueen armadillo heels?—so most of us wouldn’t dream of wearing them for a walking tour of Versailles, or a trip to the local mall. But here’s the big secret: Most of Gaga’s shoes are actually not as terribly awful as they seem. Why? Because mostly all of them feature a heel and a platform that are on a mostly even plane.

Any footwear-fetishizing gal worth her salt knows that equal parts heel and platform make for easier-to-walk-in shoes because the foot doesn’t have to arch and bend. So, that ten-inch stripper heel actually only has a three-inch heel once you factor in the seven-inch platform to the shoe. Et voila! 

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We’ve sifted through hundreds of photos of the “Applause” singer, and found some of her most wild and wonderful pairs of shoes that illustrate this point. Take a look, and tell us what you think of Lady Gaga and her shoes below!

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Dressed all in red, her platforms add an extra ten inches, at least. (We wonder if she brought the matching red Coleman cooler with her, too). (Getty)

Photo: Getty

Gaga attends a MTV Video Music Aid Japan charity event in tights and stud-covered floating booties that seem to be impossible to walk in. (Getty)

Photo: Getty

Just hanging out in London wearing the Mona Lisa and patent leather stripper shoes. (Getty) 

Photo: Getty

Striking a pose in London in turquoise heels. (Getty) 

Photo: Getty

Do these shoes come with their own walking assistant? Because they should. (Getty) 

Photo: Getty

Gaga wore these to a taping of "Good Morning America," as you do. (Getty)

Photo: Getty

Gaga goes for a Versaille-inspired get up in Alexander McQueen's famous armadillo heels. (Getty)

Photo: Getty

Having a very Edward Gagahands moment in pearl-embellished heels. (Getty) 

Photo: Getty

Going for a "dotty grandmother" vibe in purple platforms. (Getty) 

Photo: Getty

Sorry, but we had to: Here's Gaga's meat booties. (Getty) 

This may just be the literal definition of "camel toe." (Getty)

Well what shoes would you wear to match your giant seashell umbrella, hmm? (Getty)

Photo: Getty

Strappy sandals are the way to go on cobblestone streets (said no one ever). (Getty)

Photo: Getty

We're not quite sure what the process of getting from sitting down to standing up in these heels is, but we'd definitely like to see it attempted. (Getty)

Photo: Getty

It's not at all surprising that she'd want to go barefoot sometimes, right? (Getty)

Photo: Getty

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