To wit: Justin Bieber is an achingly perturbing teenage heartthrob. This 16-year-old Canadian has induced Beatle-esque reactions from girls around the the world and uber-creepy crushes from 30 year olds and housewives despite the fact that his music is nearly unlistenable. But we may have found a solution for those of you who want to hop on the Bieber express without actually listening to a fully fledged Bieber song.
This past weekend, Tampa recording artist Shamantis slowed down the Bieber jam U Smile by 800 percent with the open-source application Pauls Extreme Sound Stretch and unleashed it upon the world. And boy are we thankful. What we get is somewhere in between Bjork, Sigur Rs and shaman chants. Its actually quite a beautiful ambient masterpiece with light vocal noises and what seems to be an air of heavenly beauty.
To put you in the right mindset, close your eyes, imagine youre laying on a warm beach and that beach is in heaven because you died and went there. The 35-minute song is somewhere close to that. Who knew Bieber would be the soundtrack to heaven?
Contributed by Colin Jones for Death and Taxes.