In our world today, we basically live our lives besieged by social media sites that while entertaining, unfortunately tend to control our lives. We wake up and check our StyleCaster daily email for the weather and what to wear, send out a succession of tweets to our friends, post yet another status update to our Facebook walls, and finish the day off by stalking our social circles’ nightlife whereabouts using apps like Foursquare. Furthermore, this cycle never stops; its on back-to-back repeat on a never-ending day-to-day basis. Since we live our lives in such an online savvy state of being, you shouldnt be surprised to find that this also applies to our relationships and has an effect on them in the physical — not 0nline — world.
While the social media craze has its advantages, it can also cause us to misuse these communication-based sites within the dating world. For example, we easily become paranoid lunatics who are constantly reading whatever online information is offered on our current crush — but we don’t recommend trying this at home. Dont let your overactive brains get the best of you. Find out if social media is ruining your relationship with your significant other — and if so, change your ways pronto before you become known as the crazy internet stalker chick.
Here are the top 10 most common misuses of social media in relationships:
1. Overanalyzing Away Messages
You know how sometimes your crush will post lyrics or quotes to his Facebook wall and youll sit there wondering if it applies to you? Well, guess what — it doesn’t. Just in case you didnt know, overanalyzing the Facebook wall qualifies as a tad bit stalker-ish and means youre reading way too much into something as fleeting as a song. Maybe he just likes it (not you). Chill out on the narcissism gals, not everything is about us.
2. Poring Over Photo Albums
Another foreseeable issue is the tendency to obsessively click through your crush’s accumulated photo albums and tagged pictures. This will only bring about unnecessary speculations about the contents of the photos like the persons past love life. Yes, guys have friends that are girls and vice versa. Its something you should probably realize now and get over so you wont become a jealous maniac and drive your crush away.
3. You Stalk His Whereabouts
Oftentimes, youre able to view the location of a person when they send tweets or blatantly post their current hangout spot on their Facebook status. This is not an open invitation to head out the door and join your crush. Again, dont read too much into this — its not healthy, and frankly, its kind of creepy to persistently keep tabs on where your crush is spending time.
4. Liar Stats
So, you find out via Facebook pictures that your boyfriend was not exactly where he claimed to be last Friday night. Before you confront your man, we suggest exhausting all possible options before you accuse your significant other of lying. If he is hiding something, of course you have a right to know, but if it’s just a misunderstanding, the last thing you’d want to do is come across as a major stalker.
5. Reading the Wall
Its common knowledge that your crush has friends who will inevitably post comments to his wall, however, just because theyre public doesnt mean they were meant for your usage. What happens if you accidently bring up the context of a wall post in your next conversation with him? We’ll tell you what: you’ll be asking for a relationship death wish.
6. You Fall in Love with a Mystery Man
Youre in love, but theres one tiny problem — you dont even know the guy. Your newfound love is based off pictures of a friend of a friend who you came across on Facebook, and now youre frantically trying to find ways to meet this new man in your life. This is the epitome of letting social media run your love life, so you might want to take a step back and think for a minute about the traditional way of falling in love that requires actually meeting and getting to know a person. Plus, we all know that beauty is more than skin deep.
7. Becoming Too Easily Accessible
Just because you’re able to find out your crushs exact schedule due to social media doesnt mean you should start making your whereabouts known 24/7 as well. Guys like a challenge — and they like a little bit of mystery too. The more independent you are, with your own life and schedule, the more he will respect you. Remember that there has to be balance to make a relationship successful.
8. You Feign Similar Interests
We know that everyone has a section on their LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc that allows them to share their interests for all to see. We also know that just because that section is there doesnt mean you should study it like a history book in order to have the same newfound interests. Eventually, the truth will come out that you actually favor the Jets over the Red Sox and that you detest Bon Jovi music. Feigning similarities is never a good idea — we suggest just being yourself.
9. Friend Stalking
Another mistake that you should never make is befriending his friends in order to get closer to him. Its a slightly manipulative dating mechanism that will most likely make him feel suffocated if he didn’t introduce you first. And word to the wise: never ever friend his mother on Facebook before you’ve actually met her in person.
10. Passing Judgment Early On
If you’ve just met a guy that seems interested, take note that it’s likely he will have some crazy and unflattering pictures posted online that may or may not paint a tainted picture of your ideal mate. If you werent present when said picture took place, we suggest refraining from passing judgment before you get to know his true character. You could end up passing on a great opportunity.