Going through a breakup isn’t fun. People don’t joyfully plan them for Friday nights (8PM Dinner, 9PM Break Up, 10 PM Bowling). But, breakups are one of life’s unpleasant necessities. They are part of dating — sometimes a big part.
Odds are, you’ve been broken up with and you’ve also been the one who did the breaking up . Perhaps you’ve experienced this one or two times, or maybe more times than you can count. But, whether you are a novice or have been involved in so many breakups that “The Breaker” could be your nickname, there are certain ways to not handle a breakup.
So, the next time you have your heart stomped on, resist the urge to do any of the following, no matter how hard it is:
Make or Act on Threats
Some people are so shaken from a breakup that they will do anything they can to change their partner’s mind. Out of desperation, this may involve threats. Some of these threats can be a bit juvenile—threatening to cut all your hair off or to tell everyone on Facebook that your partner gave you VD —while others can be very serious, such as threatening to harm yourself. Whatever version they are, threats tend to have very negative consequences. Not only does making threats drive your partner further away from you, but acting on them can have long-term damaging effects—damaging effects that, in the end, may be unrepairable.
Back in the old days, people had to walk up hill, both ways, through blizzards in order to peek into the windows of those they were stalking. These days, we can stalk from the convenience of our own homes. Through social media platforms, particularly Facebook, it’s pretty easy to figure out what an ex has been up to and who they have been seeing. But, just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it should be done. Next time you have the urge to stalk your ex online, ask yourself what it will accomplish. The answer is probably nothing.
Asking Yourself “What If”
Whenever anything goes badly in our lives, it’s human nature to wonder “what if”…”what if this happened, what if that happened.” But, the what if game will drive you crazy. The fact is what happened has already happened, and no amount of wondering what could have been will ever make it be. If you are looking to amend things, stop wondering “what if” and instead ask yourself what you can do to win your ex back.
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