There’s nothing wrong with vanilla sex—if it satisfies you. But if it’s not getting the job done, and you want to take your sex life to the next level, there are some things you can try to take things from zzz to XXX. Just remember: Communication with your partner is key when introducing new things in bed, so before you shock him or her with something totally different, give a heads up that they’re in for a (consensual) surprise.
Your partner most likely has a favorite character, uniform, sports team, or fantasy scenario that would make for some amazing role play. Many people fall into character when they’re acting out their fantasies in costume and because they’re playing that character, they feel more adventurous. Pro tip: Role playing can feel awkward or cheesy at first. Just go with it. It’s HOT.
Try Sex Toys.
Don’t worry about being replaced by sex toys—instead, consider them an enhancement to playtime. Experiment with small vibrators, larger ones for clitoral stimulation, dildos, and toys for penis owners. They can add an element of fun. Try shopping together for each other and get feedback from your lover on what turns him or her on. This will make you both even more excited to get home and try them out.
Yes, chances are you may have discovered the many benefits of using lube during sex, but you can also liven things up even more by trying your hand (and other parts of your body) at sensation play. Many lube brands feature special flavors and feelings, like Wicked Sensual Care’s Aqua Heat and Chill water and silicone-based lubricants with all the heating and cooling feels.
DON’T Have Sex.
You heard me. Arrange a playdate with your lover,and make penetrative sex off-limits. Get creative with the things you can do to satisfy each other while not going all the way. You’ll learn that foreplay can be the main course, and it can really satisfy.
Many people already enjoy some form of BDSM, even if they don’t recognize it, with moves like hair pulling and spanking. Take it further with restraints or a blindfold and watch the dynamic become even more intense. If you don’t have a designated dominant partner already, take turns sharing the role. Pro tip: Before playing, explain your limits and choose a safe word. When that word is said, you MUST stop any activity until your partner gives you the green light to proceed.