Hilary Duff sat down with “Younger” co-star Nico Tortorella on his podcast, “The Love Bomb,” to frankly discuss love and sex. And she went there. “Obviously, I’m divorced, and it’s never seemed harder to have a life outside of my relationship,” she said, kicking things off by addressing her new relationship (with personal trainer Jason Walsh).
“It just seems scarier than ever, because of how much attention celebrities get because of their personal life now, and how much focus is on that, and how much one person can say one thing and how much impact it can have. It’s crazy.” She added that she absolutely calculates her life. “It’s weird to think about every move that you make.”
Duff acknowledged that she definitely lives a traditional life, but she doesn’t judge others who don’t follow the same path. “I don’t have the judgment of tradition. If someone chooses to not live a traditional lifestyle, obviously I don’t care whatsoever,” says Duff. “But some of my choices are more like, ‘I got married. I had a baby.’ That was very traditional. I do think there’s a sweetness to all of that.”
She got married at 22 to hockey player Mike Comrie, but she didn’t grow up obsessed with the institution of marriage. “I never, like, pictured my wedding dress,” she said. The pair “separated in a very loving way” three years later, and they have a child together, Luca. “He continues to be a very good friend,” she said of Comrie.
As to marriage in general, Duff called it “a sacred thing,” but then went on to contradict herself a moment later. “My parents are divorced, and my dad is recently remarried—at 71. Get it, dad! Very happily, by the way, which is awesome for him,” she said. “I’m so excited for both of them,” the actress gushed. “But it’s not a sacred thing. I wasn’t shamed because I got a divorce. It was a big step to take, and it was a lot of considering a little human, but I don’t know. Lots of people in my family are still married.”
Looking forward, Duff’s not sure if she’ll remarry or not. “Everyone’s like, ‘Are you going to get married again?’ I’m like, ‘I don’t know!'” she said. “I don’t feel the need. I feel like I got to have the experience and it was awesome. So, I guess if it mattered to someone else that much, I would consider it.”
Duff is monogamous, she said. “There we go with the tradition again. I’m kind of traditional. But I get it. I get that it’s hard to be with one person. You get really comfortable,” she said. “I am not a jealous person by nature, but I don’t think I want my man sleeping with someone else.” The idea of polyamory doesn’t appeal to her: “I understand boredom or not connecting after however many years of marriage or a relationship, but that’s where the work comes in,” she said. “I feel like I’d have a really hard time with that.”
What about if a new boyfriend told her, “Hey, I’ve been with dudes before,” Tortorella asked. “I knew this was going to happen with you,” Duff said, obviously uncomfortable with the question. “It’s totally OK if you do have an issue with it,” said Tortorella, who identifies as sexually fluid and has discussed his own sexuality at length on his podcast.
“I don’t know how to answer your question,” Duff finally said. “I wouldn’t be OK with him being with guys when I was with him. I have zero percent judgment on sexuality. I love that we’re getting to this place in this world where people are fighting to be heard and accepted. It seems like it’s happening at a snail’s pace, but it does seem like there’s so much light shined on it now, which is exciting.”
In the end, Duff said, “I don’t want this to be taken the wrong way, but I don’t know if … I don’t know. I think it depends on the person and my feelings towards the person, to accept that kind of a thing. I’m not gay. I’m straight. I’m fully straight. I don’t have any feelings towards women except they’re beautiful. But I don’t know!” Finally, she said, “I think it would depend on the person and how it made me feel when he told me.” Flustered, she added, “That stressed me out.”
One of Tortorella’s final queries for Duff: “Do you love yourself?” “I think I do,” she said. “I think I have a lot of things in my life that offer me love, so I don’t feel like I have a lot of time to focus on the love that I have for myself. I feel more grateful for things in my life that create love around me, instead of like, ‘I just love that about myself.’ I’m really not that person. But I do respect myself, and I think that I’m content—for the most part—with myself. And I know that I’m a good person and that creates a good feeling, which might be love for myself. Did that make sense? Was that weird?” Not weird at all, Hillz.