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Gwyneth Paltrow’s 25 Most Pretentious Quotes

Gwyneth Paltrow’s 25 Most Pretentious Quotes

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Sure, Gwyneth Paltrow is one of the biggest celebrities around, but the 41-year-old actress and recent lifestyle expert (you know you read GOOP) often tends to find herself in the headlines more for her ridiculous, pretentious, and just plain idiotic quotes about her privileged lifestyle than her actual day job (being a huge movie star.)

In honor of Gwynnie’s 42nd birthday tomorrow, take a look at her 25 most pretentious quotes ever.

gwyneth paltrow quotes

On the trouble with Parisian concierges
“When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, ‘No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?

On her kids picking vegetables
“Just to have my kids be in the sun every day—picking avocados, going for a swim,” she says. “Even for two years or something, and come back when they go to senior school.” Just what kids want to do, pick avocados. Also: senior school?

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On her own diet
“I eat whatever I want. I like bread and cheese and wine, and that makes my life fun and enjoyable.” Weird, since she’s also claimed she cut out all booze and bread in other interviews.

On her children’s nanny
“She’s French, so she’s teaching them French, and their previous nanny was Spanish, so they’re fluent in Spanish.”

On the advice Beyoncé gave her before singing live on the Grammy Awards
“Beyoncé’s like, ‘Okay. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun.’ She’s like, ‘Remember when we were at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that. Be you!’”

On her reaction to flowering zucchini
“When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.”

gwyneth paltrow pretentious obnoxious bougie quotes

On reminding us yet again she’s friends with Jay-Z and Beyoncé
I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It’s very liberating. It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay—Shawn Carter—Z, because his approach to life is very internal. It’s a very good lesson to learn.”

On America vs. Europe
“We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art and literature—all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God! Are those Juicy jeans that you’re wearing?’ and I thought, I can’t stay here. I have to get back to Europe.”

On how her life is like war
At a 2014 tech conference, Gwyneth said reading nasty things about herself on the web is akin to warfare. “You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it’s a very dehumanizing thing,” Paltrow said. “It’s almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing … My hope is, as we get out of it, we’ll reach the next level of conscience.”

On getting through the cold winter months
In 2013, Harper’s Bazaar‘s Sarah Brown interviewed Paltrow who revealed that she managed to get through her tenth London winter by assigning January “international month,” and amusing son Moses and big sister, Apple with a visiting Italian chef, Japanese anime screenings, and hand-rolled-sushi lessons.

On cheese from a tin
I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin,” the actress told a British talk show.

gwyneth paltrow pretentious quotes


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On the ultra-exclusive Met Gala
Paltrow strutted down the red carpet at 2013’s high-profile fashion event clad in a coral Valentino Haute Couture gown and looked downright thrilled vamping for the cameras. However, looks can apparently be deceiving. The next day, Paltrow told USA Today that she was actually having an abysmal time. “I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all,” she told the newspaper.

On her kid’s diet
They love a brown rice stir-fry, but they also love their ‘Coke of the week.'” Also: ”My daughter gravitates toward fresh fruit and raw nuts but will inhale a bag of hot Cheetos at the airport. It’s all about balance.” These gems came from a GOOP newsletter, naturally.

On the sun: “We’re human beings and the sun is the sun—how can it be bad for you? I don’t think anything that’s natural can be bad for you,” Gwynnie so sagely told British Cosmopolitan.

On how water has feelings
On Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow rambled on about how she loves the work of Messages From Water author Masuru Emoto, whose studies have involved talking, yelling at and playing music to water to see if it had any molecular impact. Read her whole post about it here.

On life’s precious balance:
“You know, I use organic products, but I get [laser treatments]. It’s what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu.”

On hallucinating in Sedona, Arizona:
“I’ll never forget it. I was starting to hike up the red rocks, and honestly, it was as if I heard the rock say, ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher.’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.”

How being a movie star is harder than a ‘regular’ working mom:
“I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set,” Paltrow said.

gwyneth paltrow pretentious quotes

On her dream last meal (and boozing habits):
“Oysters and cocktail sauce, and then a baked, stuffed lobster and french fries. I would have a baguette and a cheese course for my dessert, and red wine. I drank like crazy [when the kids were babies]. How else could I get through my day?”

On what her family can’t live without:
“We basically can’t live without Vegenaise—it’s a little out of control.”

On her DNA:
“I AM AFRICAN.” Um, okay. (You’ll understand when you click the link, FYI.)

On Hot Dogs:
“I basically love anything that comes in a hot dog bun… except hot dogs.”

On Reese Witherspoon types:
“Even actresses that you really admire, like Reese Witherspoon, you think, ‘Another romantic comedy?’ You see her in something like Walk the Line and think, ‘God, you’re so great!’ And then you think, ‘Why is she doing these stupid romantic comedies?’ But of course, it’s for money and status.”

On splitting up with her husband, Coldplay’s Chris Martin:
Gwyneth posted the news on Goop, in a post titled “Conscious Uncoupling.” Needless to say, the world still isn’t letting that one go.

“I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”
gwyneth paltrow pretentious quotes

What’s your favorite Gwyneth Paltrow quote? Tell us below! 

Photo via Harper’s Bazaar

  • Harper Melrose

    Barf. Gwyneth’s comments aren’t so bad. Certainly not ridiculous.This just seems mean-spirited.

    • Sambo Collins

      gwyneth an uppity bitch

  • barb smith

    I agree, this all seems like normal stuff for someone to say. Get a life, this is just petty and it is mean spirited.

  • Potential Auicide


  • aa

    I don’t know what the problem is. Everything she says is true. She is wealthy. Jay-Z and Beyonce are her friends. Would she be more like-able if she hid the truth? I like that doesn’t hide who she is and the reality of her celebrity life. The only comment that seems mean is the “Juicy jeans” quip, and, hey, we’ve all been there…annoyed by someone’s shallowness and then felt bad about being snarky later.

    • Katie

      In response to aa. Yes she is rich no one ever denied that, however she acts as though she can not relate to anything but wealth. Has she always been wealthy? If so, then I cant blame her because that is what she knows but if not then she a #soldoutbitch# because she knows where she came from. Regardless she has no tact and is a snooty BIT%%%.

      • Bil

        Her family comes from old money on both sides. They have been in finance, politics, and the arts for many generations.

    • Chad

      Hey, Gwen! Is that you?

  • trish220

    Why is everything she said so criticized? I lived in the rain of the Northwest, I understand her comments about living in the sun and picking avocados. I think she is too criticized too much, It is like people are gunning for her. She is allowed to speak her mind, say what she wants and needs to. I actually like her a lot and am a regular person. She is a celebrity, since when do you expect them to be regular?

  • Amos

    “great bar with organic wine?” ” Gee, I thought grapes are naturally organic.

    • John

      If the grapes are grown in a vineyard where they are sprayed with insecticides or pesticides, or if they are grown in soil that has been tainted with chemicals, then they are not organic. Depending on farming practices, I bet that most grapes are not organic.

  • Me

    I frankly love her. She’s just herself and no one should be judged for that.

  • nicci

    The one where she shuts up !!!

  • Joe S.

    Yawn… I enjoy hearing her point of view on things actually, but it’s not exciting. If you only knew some of the stuff I’ve said half-way through a bottle of Jack Daniels you’d understand what nutty statements are.

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