13 No-BS New Year’s Resolutions You Should Totally Steal

Lauren Caruso
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2017 glitter

Call me a pessimist, but I hate the idea of a New Year’s resolution. It just seems like the epitome of a vapid marketing ruse, and if it takes a hypothetical clean slate and the pressure of exactly one million advertisements to convince you to be a better person/save some money/drop two sizes—or whatever nebulous thing you tell yourself you’re going to do once January 1st comes—then you’re probably not going to do that thing anyway. Plus, what’s stopping you from reflecting on yourself—your relationship, your jobs, your health—the other 364 days of the year except for a calendar?

But (and there’s always a but) when you turn that nebulous idea into an actual action item—you’re going to wake up and make yourself coffee to save $4 a day, or you plan to make sure you compliment your S.O. every night before you go to sleep—I’m all for ‘em. We asked our staffers what their no-BS, totally actionable New Year’s resolutions for 2017 are, and they turned out some solid ideas. See them all below.

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“I’ve decided I need to overhaul my weeknight sleep routine—more baths, more reading, less aimless scrolling, less Netflix (even if I always justify it by working while I watch). Mostly I just feel like I need another hour or two of sleep a night, and I’m not going to get it if I keep falling back on the same habits. While I won’t pretend I’m going to suddenly be the type who wants to be in bed by 9 p.m. as soon as January 1 arrives—who are you people? How do you do it?—I know I can curb my night owl tendencies slightly with a little willpower. Plus, it’ll make getting out of bed for those 7 a.m. barre classes WAY less torturous, which I’m definitely looking forward to.” —Hilary Geroge-Parkin, fashion editor

“I read a book once that said if something takes less than 60 seconds to do—as in washing a plate, picking up clothes, making the bed, etc—just do it, and your life will be magical and easier…or something like that. I think about that mantra a lot, right before I ignore it, and then I get angry later that little things around the house are always messy. So for 2017, I’m going to start implementing the 60-second rule in the morning before work, so when I come home, I don’t have a pile of chores to do.”—Chloe Metzger, beauty editor

I’m going to start implementing the 60-second rule.

“I’m not a huge proponent of New Year’s resolutions as I am constantly striving to be my best self and live my best life à la Oprah. However, my resolution’for 2017 is to hug Stevie Nicks and tell her what a magnificent human she is. Before you get all #SMH, know that my 2016‘resolution was to die on ‘Law and Order: SVU’ (which happened), so it’s worth noting the significance of putting bonkers ideas into the universe. I guess the real resolution here is to believe in ourselves and life’s timing. (And maybe Dick Wolf, too. Also, Ticketmaster.)  I plan to achieve this by attending each of her New York-area shows in the spring, and by praying to the Lord for a miracle. I’ll keep you posted.

“My second resolution is to shut down all skinny tea and skinny coffee “clubs”. I haven’t decided how I’m going to do this yet exactly, but it must be done. Us humans need to band together and stand up for what’s right: defeating evil in the form of a laxative-infused coffee bean. I believe.”—Christina Grasso, social media manager

“I am going to try and be more present, so I can live in the moment—I’m such a plan-ahead type of person; always thinking about to-do lists and what I want/need to get done this week or next week (or next year!). That said, 2016 was a big year of change for me with lots of reminders that life is delicate, and sometimes it’s best to enjoy the moment in front of you rather then getting too far ahead of yourself. Oh, and I’m going to commit to playing tennis at least twice a week!” — Jessica Teves, editor-in-chief

“When I came to the realization that I spend upwards of $500-$1000 on clothes a month, I vowed to not spend a dime on clothes in August—and succeeded. I’m going to do the same thing in February, and I’m adopting a new online shopping policy: I’m going to wait 48 hours before I buy anything that’s over $100 and see if I still want/need it.”—Lauren Caruso, site director

“My uncle doesn’t mess around when it comes to his New Year’s resolutions: Each year he takes on a new health-related challenge to complete every single day. One year it was a two-mile run each morning (all 365 mornings), another it was an apple a day, another it was a 15 minute stretch each morning. Never the overachiever when it comes to fitness, I plan to take a page out of his book and make my resolution to stretch each morning before I get my day started. Maybe by 2018 I’ll be able to touch my toes.” —Samantha Gilbert, editorial intern

I’m swapping my RSS feed for actual books—printed on paper and everything!

“I have three no-BS resolutions: Volunteer for/donate to SURJ or other social justice organizations at least once a month; make time to gratitude journal once a week; and actually pay off my credit card every month (a.k.a. use my credit card way less).”—Hannah Hickok, lifestyle editor

For every new article of clothing that I buy in 2017, I’m going to donate a minimum of two pieces from my closet that I no longer wear. At the end of each month, I’ll make a trip to The Bowery Mission to donate any clothing that I have collected. My resolution will not only help me weed out old clothes that I don’t need, but also support a great NYC cause.” —Ruby Buddemeyer, editorial intern

“I haven’t been volunteering as much as I’d like to, so I’m going to commit to doing at least one community service project a month, whether it be helping out at my neighborhood food pantry or tutoring local students.”—Leah Faye Cooper, editorial producer

“I’m writing down what I’m grateful for every damn day this year, without fail. I already jot down a little gratitude regularly, but this year, I want to make it part of my daily life. I find that this simple action keeps my thoughts positive and my heart open. #Grateful.”—Bibi Dietz, entertainment editor

“I’ve fallen into the bad habit of endlessly scrolling through Feedly on my iPad just before bed, which doesn’t help me unwind so much as it contributes to my horribly short attention span. Couple that with the fact that my device’s artificial glow is probably messing with my sleep cycle and it’s about time I got myself a new nighttime hobby. Enter my 2017 resolution: swapping my RSS feed for actual books—printed on paper and everything! I’m not the fastest reader in the world so if I can tackle a new title every month, I’d consider this one a success.”—Christina Velocci, managing editor

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