Dreams Do Come True, Santa Is Real!

Jessica Rubin

You know all those teachers who have been getting busted for breaking their students’ hearts and telling them Santa doesn’t exist? Well, revenge is sweet. Larry Silverberg, an aerospace engineer at North Carolina State University, says Santa is in fact real. And more than that, he’s a freakin’ genius!

Silverberg tellsWRAL that Santa uses inventions like a “relativity cloud” — which bends time, and an underground antenna (to listen to children’s thoughts) to deliver billions of presents around the world in one night. Ah, but can science explain how Santa gets his presents down the chimney, you ask? Duh. Good ol’ Saint Nick uses nanotechnology to “grow the presents” once they’re under the tree.

Can’t get one past this slick gifter.

Silvernerg even confides: “Santa welcomed us to show us a little bit about his technology, so that we could actually take advantage of it. Santa not only helps us with presents, he also helps us understand technology.”

Steve Jobs, is that you?

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