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Dating Duds? Get Tips From An Upscale Matchmaker

Dating Duds? Get Tips From An Upscale Matchmaker

Upscale matchmaker Janis Spindel. Image courtesy of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking

My mom, Janis Spindel, is unlike any other matchmaker. She only takes on men as clients. When she first started her business, Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking, Inc., both men and women had the opportunity to become her clients. As she became more successful, she saw that women were too difficult to work with they would call her at all hours of the day. Instead of being their love guru, she found herself playing the role of their psychiatrist. So, she did what any sane person would do. She passed up the fairer sex and decided to only take on men who require less attention and dont obsess as much as clients. Here’s how the setup works:

The Set Up Process
Even though my mom is a matchmaker, she could double as a detective. Before she agrees to take a man on as a client, she does a lot of background work. She goes on a simulated date with the prospective client.

The point of a simulated date is to see what hes really like. She pays attention to his manners and how he treats her. Was he late and rude? Was he nice to the waitstaff? Was he polite and respectful? Would he make a good husband? After all, she has to make sure the men are indeed a good catch before she sets them up with the women in her database.

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Photo: iStock.com

What A Matchmaker Looks For
Janis won’t take any joe-schmo off the street as a client. My mom only deals with successful, upscale, attractive, well-educated men and women basically an automatic filter of sorts. She isnt an escort service, so she only sets up men and women who are commitment-minded and want to get married.

If someone comes to her looking for a booty call, she politely tells them to get lost. (Its happened more than a few times.) The same goes for gold diggers.

The Major Turnoffs For Men
Janis says that men look for the 4Bs: Beauty, Brains, Body, and Balance.

Beauty
Lets face it, men are visual. They fall in love through their eyes. So, they want to date a woman who takes care of herself. Men are turned off by facial or leg hair. Its just not sexy. Men enjoy dating a woman with a nice smile, good skin, and pretty eyes. They appreciate a woman who takes pleasure in her appearance. She doesnt have to be a beauty queen, but a blow dry and a little lipstick can do wonders for just about anyone.

Brains
Men enjoy being challenged. They want to date a woman whos capable of having an intelligent conversation. You dont have to be a genius to find a man, but you have to be smart. Successful men enjoy dating women who can contribute to a conversation. They like talking about their interests with the person they choose to date.

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A girl who’s hot and works too? Love it. Photo: iStock.com

Body
As I said before, men are visual. Theyre attracted to women who lead a healthy lifestyle. This doesnt mean you have to be rail thin, but you should exercise more than once a year. Men appreciate a woman who takes good care of her body. Remember, effort is attractive.

Balance
Men want the whole package. Someone whos beautiful, smart, funny, in shape, and grounded is a turn on. They need a well-rounded woman to balance them out. At the end of the day, men desire a woman whos calm, cool, and confident.

So, if youre looking for the love of your life and you cant find him or her, perhaps it’s time to call a matchmaker!

What do you think of the matchmaking tips above? Let us know in the comments!

Carly Spindel is a writer and hopeless romantic. She is a world traveler who has lived in Paris and London. She resides in New York and is always on the go. She can usually be found at her favorite caf enjoying chocolate mousse while people watching, which is one of her favorite hobbies. Carly spends the rest of her time focusing on her five dearest past times: travelling, learning about different cultures, shopping, reading, and of course looking for Mr. Right.

Related: Top 5 Reasons Men Don’t Call Women Back

  • Megan Levitan

    Very interesting….how does the process work after they have been set up? Does the matchmaker follow up? Where does she find the girls to set up her clients with?

    I think maybe its time I try a matchmaker!

  • jeni

    I don’t know if I could do this… I hate being set up to begin with! Never works out for me, but I guess she is a professional…

  • eQpidDotCom

    Great advice!

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  • sue breha

    carly,wow how cool it is that your mom is a matchmaker,something i always wanted to do.does she need help,ha ha just kidding,your article is really good,my daughter is 27 has everything going for her has and is on a dating website but still can not meet mr.right,i am not sure if it is because we live in cleveland or she really is not ready,i would think you would be ready at 27,but everyone is different i quess.what is the average age of the men your mom sees?does she try to fix you up?i tried several times with my daughter,never worked.sounds like you have it all together,from what i read you sound like my daughter she has all the same past times as you,she works at a hospital,does mammograms–can’t meet any guys that way–its a womens wellness facility,oh well have a great 4th-good job on the article–sue breha

  • Beth Williams

    I’ve been married twice, The first time was right out of High School for 15+ years, And the second time was for 12 years. So I really do believe in giving a relationship my all, And trying to make it work out… Till you finally realize something’s weren’t mean to be in the first place? My problem is, I’m in a wheelchair due to having MS. There’s nothing wrong with me visually, mentally, or physically, I’m just sitting down? It’s no big deal? I can do pretty much anything that I set my mind to doing. For some silly reason, It scares guy’s off to the fact that I’m just sitting down? ” What’s up with That , I cook and I clean, My house is always clean, And I always look and dress accordingly to any event that I need to, And Men always tell me how pretty I am, But they always shy away from me because they are scared because I’m sitting down in a wheelchair, WHY, There’s nothing wrong with me? ” I would love to settle down and find a life long commit with that one special man. It’s just hard that now a days, especially when people seam to be so materialistic, superficial, and way to into themselves to even take note of What & Who you are about, in the first place? Much less even try to mussel up the nerve to introduce themselves to you because they now a days are too afraid of rejection. How could a Matchmaker help me out with my situation, And how much do they charge for doing so? The internet is not a safe place to look for anybody, even if you are honest, they might not be Honest? …. And 9 out of 10 times I have found out that they where not Honest at all about anything, Their profile, their picture, The list goes on………… ” Scary, huh? ”

  • Enid

    This sounds great! I live in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. it’s easy to men, I just don’t seem to meet the “right men” I work out daily, am a photographer, social etc. My questions are: What are the cost for your Mom’s services & What areas of the US does she specialize in?

  • cassa

    Ummm–women are difficult? With that attitude, I wouldn’t go near her at all

  • LuckyLeilani

    You’re mom is an amazing and very smart woman, Carly. She was able to start a business in a niche that is underserved and at the same time, recognize that women can be very difficult ~ and yes, needy. Narrowing down the client list is important so the attention is focused on the quality, not the quantity. This is a value too many overlook when trying to serve the masses and make a business successful.

    I am a woman, so I am excluded as one of your mom’s clients, however, I have read about her and believe she has the tools to make a match. Unfortunately, I live in a rural area not served by your mom or any matchmaking service (except for the loser-laden online ones).

    My choices for an acceptable long-term mate are practically non-existent, unless I want the very young or the very old. Yes, I have given “almost” anyone a chance because I know I’m not going to find someone while sitting at home alone. Sadly, men my age and in my area are married with at least two kids or live on a farm. *sigh*

    I just want to say, any man who is selected by Janis can consider himself very lucky because she is genuinely serious about her work and her successful matches are a testament to her true talents. And no, Janis and Carly did not pay me to post this. I am just someone who stumbled across this page by accident.

    I’d also like to say that it would be nice if Janis expanded her portfolio of women to include those in rural areas (like SE Idaho, hint, hint)… Otherwise, keep doing what you’re doing because it seems to be working.

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