What used to be an honor for many women has turned into nightmare: Being asked to be a bridesmaid. The horrible dress, the endless (and expensive!) coterie of events, dealing with a bridezilla—yeah, being asked to be a bridesmaid isn’t necessarily the stuff wedding fantasies are made of. Which is why a woman based in New York City might be onto something—she’s advertising herself as a professional bridesmaid on Craigslist.
On the listing she writes: “When all my friends started getting engaged I decided to make new friends. So I did, but then they got engaged also and for what felt like the hundredth time, I was asked to be a bridesmaid.”
She continues: “This year alone, I’ve been a bridesmaid four times. That’s four different chiffon dresses, four different bachelorette parties filled with tequila shots and guys in thong underwear twerking way too close to my face, four different pre-wedding pep talks to the bride about how this is the happiest day of her life and marriage, probably, is just like riding a bike: a little shaky at first but then she’ll get the hang of it.”
According to her ad, she’s exceptionally good at holding up brides’ dresses so they can go to the bathroom, catching the bouquet, wedding group dances like the electric slide, and responding in a timely manner to those pesky wedding chain emails.
As for who she thinks this would appeal to, she says: “You don’t have any other girlfriends except your third cousin, twice removed, who is often found sticking her tongue down an empty bottle of red wine. Your fiance has an extra groomsmen and you’re looking to even things out so your pictures don’t look funny and there’s not one single guy walking down the aisle by himself . You need someone to take control and make sure bridesmaid number four buys her dress on time and doesn’t show up three hours late the day of the wedding or paint her nails lime green.”
Wait, now we are starting to think this whole professional bridesmaid thing isn’t such a bad idea. Think about it: this is a person you’ve paid to keep your crazy friends and family in line on your big day. Personally, we’ve shelled out for a lot crazier of things.