A Beginner’s Guide to Sex Toys

Perrie Samotin
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Welcome to StyleCaster’s Summer of Sex! For the next three months, we’ll be bringing you scintillating content about—you guessed it—all things related to our favorite three-letter word. A few things to expect: Answers to pressing questions you always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask, ways to boost your own sex appeal, what being sexy means to various people, and lots and lots of eye candy. And that’s just the beginning. Brace yourselves, people: It’s going to be one hot summer.

sex toys beginners dildo vibrator orgasm

Shy about sex toys? Read on! (Getty)

If you’re already a bonafide sex toy aficionado, kudos—you’re probably having an orgasm as you read this. However, if you’re not so savvy about adult entertainment devices, there’s a good chance you might be curious—and you should be, according to experts.

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“Sex toys can lead to new ways to experience pleasure and new sensations. We can learn about our bodies and find more excitement in sex both with a partner and solo,” says Claire Cavanah, co-founder of approachable sex toy mecca Toys in Babeland and co-author of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex

MORE: 50 Fictional Characters We’d Totally Bang 

Whether you’re thisclose to biting the bullet and buying, well, a bullet; you’re too embarrassed to bring it up with your partner, or you’re not sure if you really need them, Cavanah offers some insight into the importance of experimenting with sex toys, the store’s number one bestseller, and the five plastic pleasures every beginner should try.

Firstly, why do you think so many people are squeamish about the topic of sex toys?
I think it’s cultural and depends on quality sex education that affirms that pleasure is part of the human experience and our bodies are designed for it. Sex ed that focuses only on birth control and STDs teaches people about consequences, but not about how to enjoy it and the ways that our bodies are programmed for it. Culturally, Americans have a real split between repression and freedom when it comes to sex. So many things have changed and yet so many things haven’t.

Do you think it’s just as important for women to use sex toys alone as it is with a partner?
Absolutely. When you’re on your own, it’s an opportunity to get to know your body, what you like and respond to. Then, when you’re with a partner, you have more confidence and can help them to please you.

What’s your number one bestselling toy for women?
Our bestselling vibrator is the We-Vibe ($159). It’s a couple’s toy that can be worn by a woman during intercourse and it will stimulate her internally and externally. It’s a fun solo toy, too. The We-Vibe has been popular since it came out because vibration during sex feels amazing and it met a need that wasn’t being filled.

we vibe sex toy

The We-Vibe vibrator is Toys in Babeland’s top seller.

How can a woman approach the topic with a partner if they’ve never discussed it?
We have this tool that we love and published in our book that’s an excellent way to communicate about sex. It’s called the Yes/No/Maybe list and it covers a huge range of sex acts. Each partner fills out their own list, then you compare and see where you crossover. Over time, things change, too. A hard “no” becomes a “maybe”. It’s a good way to open a conversation.

Inviting your partner to shop at a sex toy store is a good date night activity, too. Each of you can pick out one thing that you want to try when you get home. Or shop online together and see what turns you on.

What are 5 product suggestions for total beginners?

babeland buzz vibrator A Beginners Guide to Sex Toys

1. The Babeland Buzz, $12
This is an affordable introduction to external vibration. It can add to a masturbation session or be used on the clitoris during intercourse or oral sex. It’s discreet, not intimidating, and can be an easy add-on to try out alone or with a partner. The drawback is that it’s a single speed and that intensity level either works for you or it doesn’t.

gigi 2 rose 300x204 A Beginners Guide to Sex Toys

2. The Gigi 2, $119
Although this is a bigger investment for a newbie, I love the Gigi as a first-time vibrator because it has multiple intensity levels and patterns to choose. It’s customizable to your mood, the situation and offers a great range of sensation. It’s beautifully made, sophisticated, rechargeable, and will fit into your sex life for years to come.

3741 a moka blue A Beginners Guide to Sex Toys

3. The Moka G Vibe, $59
This is a sexy introduction to the pleasures of G-spot stimulation. The curve of the vibrator gives it a nice angle to reach that special area inside and it’s 12 speeds offer a great range of customizable sensation.

rabbit vibrator

4. Rabbit Habit, $90
The Rabbit Habit was made famous on “Sex and the City” and remains in demand as a bestselling dual-action vibrator that can do it all at once. For women who like both internal and external stimulation, this is the one that will be your best friend!

0710400 a A Beginners Guide to Sex Toys

5. Babelube Natural, $12
We’re big fans of lube at Babeland. It can take sex from good to great, and everyone should have it in their nightstand. BabeLube Natural is made from organic ingredients and is free from the chemicals that are known irritants.

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