A Letter to Molly Malaney: a Bachelor contestant who was dumped on national television by Jason Mesnick. And now, she’s marrying him.
Dear Molly,
We write to you in the spirit of girl-code: What. Are. You. Thinking? Your man dumps you, publicly, and now you are marrying him. However, it is not our nature to be mean to such an apparently lost soul. Allow our simple bits of advice to guide you in the right direction.
1)Put down your copy of Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Game.
2)Log on to your StyleCaster account, go to the newsroom, and read every article from About the Chase.
3)Feeling empowered? Great. Now spare yourself heartache by ending it now.
Ahh, doesn’t that feel better? I’m glad we can all breathe. (And don’t pretend like you have some epic Carrie-and-Big situation going on with this man. You met on television and had–was it 5 weeks?–to fall in love.)
If you don’t want to take our advice, fine. Enjoy your marriage that is speculated to be all in the name of New Zealand tourism.
Love,
Us
