You know, we’re just not fans of mommy masturbation manifestos (unless of course it’s done “tastefully” a la Saturday Night Live), so when it comes to Fifty Shades of Grey we’ve made it pretty clear it’s not on our summer reading list. True, this makes us part of the 0.1% minority, but it at least it saves us the humiliation of having to explain to our mother what a certain plug is used for (and yes, this really happened to a coworker of ours, so think about that as you page through this literary gem).
But hey, that’s never stopped us from drooling over some good apartment porn. In fact, we recently spent some quality time checking out some penthouse pics of the Escala, the fancy pants condo tower in Seattle where Grey is set. A mixture of baroque and modern aesthetics, we’re happy to report only some of the decor is overwrought as the novel itself.
With stainless steel, marble and hardwood floors dominating most of the space, we’re only slightly disappointed to observe a lack of secret bedrooms and torture chambers in the floor plan. What? Is there a safe word we don’t know about or do we need to take a riding crop to someone’s butt cheeks to get VIP access?
Either way, check out these chic apartment snaps above and just be glad you’re not required to sign a shady contract for an inside glimpse of these rather infamous digs.