Blue Valentine was, without a doubt, one of the most emotionally disturbing and best movies I’ve seen in a long time. And after re-watching it a second time the other day, I finally understand why it was so disturbing to so many people: it’s real life.
We don’t go to the movies to see a once happy couple fall out of love we go to see Mila and Justin get it on and live happily ever after (Friends with Benefits anyone?). That said, movies like Blue Valentine are jarring because the reality is that falling out of love is unfortunately a lot more common than the sought-after fairytale ending.
Not to get all depressing on you, but it’s scary to think how easily a couple can go from loving to loathing each other. But I’ve always been a big proponent of the “prevention is key” philosophy. So here are five common reasons why you may have fallen out of love And if you’re still lucky enough to be with the one you love, then use the following tips to keep it that way.
Boredom can easily be mistaken for comfort, so this is the one that couples usually don’t see coming. It’s one thing to feel at ease, comfortable and yourself with your significant other. It’s even nice to know that you can spend a night in without all the fuss of a first date. But sometimes a little fuss is necessary to keep things exciting. Fussing over each other will prevent boredom and let him/her know you still care.
You took each other for granted
Most relationships eventually get to a place where both of you just assume the other one will always be there, no matter what. You stop treating each other with kindness and respect because in the back of your head you think your love is unconditional. Newsflash: there is no such thing as unconditional love for a romantic couple. He/she is not your blood and at the end of the day, someone will fall out of love if you don’t start appreciating one another.
Consideration went out of the window
Maybe he stopped holding doors open for you or maybe you stopped asking him how his day was. These seem like small things, but when they build over time it can cause serious havoc on your relationship. It’s important to continue considering each other’s feelings in everything you do. If not, then you’re in danger of forgetting your significant other is there.
You stopped communicating
The minute you stop communicating is the minute things start heading towards that scary place. You’ve heard it a million times before, but if you don’t talk about the issues, they will fester and eventually eat away at your relationship. The minute something is bothering you, communicate it. It’s the only way to prevent a massive outburst later.
A major event changed one or both of you
Sometimes people really do change. It could be because of a major event or milestone, or it could just be that one of you matured into a different person than you were when you first met. This one’s a scary thought because there’s not much you can do to prevent this from happening. So it’s important to go into every relationship with the knowledge that people grow and change and you don’t always necessarily grow and change together.