When it comes to dating, we all know how hard it is to know who the bad seeds are (especially if your type is the bad seed), and especially if when we meet them it’s in a haze of bar smoke and tequila. It’s easy to think everyone is nice and worth your time, or think that everyone sucks and you’re better off becoming a nun and devoting your life to Jesus. No need to purchase a rosary yet, sister, because here’s a list of the easy-to-pick-out dudes who you should avoid like a pair of camouflage Crocs.
The Guy Who Lives With His Mother
This one is easy to justify in your head – “Well…he needs to take care of his family,” or “It’s super temporary and it’s only because he’s trying to save money.” No. The second he says you can’t chill at his place because it’s his mom’s night to watch Desperate Housewives, say “peace.” Avoid if you can. There’s nothing like always having the guy in your apartment, or having to endure the walk of shame past his parents in their bathrobes. It also implies a few insecurities about growing up and being self-sufficient, something that is imperative to a relationship. Moving along…
The Guy Who Wears a Bluetooth…All The Time
Even if he works for Verizon, there’s no excuse why he can’t talk on the phone like a normal human being. Plus…if he’s constantly plugged into something (something that makes him look like Madonna circa 1985, or a McDonald’s drive-thru worker), that means he will never completely be paying attention you…you’re just filler until his next important call comes through. That is…if he ever actually gets important calls, and it’s not just a cover. A Bluetooth is like the man version of the scrunchie.
The Guy Who Knows His Marc Jacobs Better Than You
There is nothing wrong with a well-dressed man, in fact, we appreciate them in all forms. However…be careful when you meet a man who mentions how current your Miu Miu heels are, or that your bag would be better paired with some Chloe boots he saw last week. Mr. I Know My Prada could either be gay, or higher maintenance than you. It’s one thing if he’s Jay-Z and will take you shopping, another if he’s going to be judging the Snuggie you keep in your apartment. If you suspect he may like boys…send him over to Bluetooth guy.
The Club Promoter
It might be nice to be able to jump the line at Marquee or have free bottle service at 1Oak (we’ve all done it), but never date a club promoter. It’s nice to have one in your back pocket to impress your high school friends when they come to town, but they’re notoriously slutty and are more trouble than you’re ready for. Not only will they ditch you the minute Lily Donaldson wants to talk to them, but if things go south you can never go back to, well, any club again.
The Two Polo Shirt Guy
Not so much a city thing, but this is definitely a shout-out to college campuses nation-wide. If you can spot their spray tan from across a frat house, you can bet they’re sporting two popped-collar polos as well. Maybe you’re going through a jock phase, which is fine. Just stick to the shy floppy-haired soccer players rather than the guy who’s playing beer pong with Muscle Milk. I shouldn’t have to explain why…you’re just better than that.
Yeah, but what if you’re into bi guys? I love to watch my man with another man. Very hot!
It all depends on what you want to get out of the relationship. If you’re just looking for one or two hot nights, or want the cool refreshing breeze of a more permanent relationship. Depending on what your ideal situation is with regards to a man, determines what kind of man you are looking for. It’s real simple.
some of this coments make no sense, about being well dressed, knowing your brands and so fort, I’m a real male and know my brands also like to dress very well it does not mean I’m gay your coment is very stupid,
As a female 30 year vetran to the dating world… These points were good…but I have one even better,…… How about watch how he respects you! This is very powerful insight into the future with this man!
Real males have better things to do, and look well in overalls and chinos. An ocassional expensive outfit is OK, but constant talking about brands means that nothing more interesting is flowing in that underdeveloped brain.
I’m a guy who spent most of his childhood with just my mother, older sister and their friends. She probably didn’t list it because that should be a given for any real woman, not even worth mentioning.
Im a guy it all boils down to if your hot. I am 31 and live at home and have no job, but i can walk into a bar, a restaurant, club, party, and will have a girl in 20 maybe 30 minutes. If a guy is really good looking girls throw all rules out the window.
If you’re looking for a one night stand, there are plenty of fish. REAL girlfriend? Not so much
If u lost your job due to a legitimate reasons, moved home to get ahead & are working hard to get back on track, that’s one thing. But if you just feel u don’t need a real job… Sorry pal… Noone wants to date a loser. No matter how good looking
Hey Matt,
I’m a 38 year old, accomplished woman. I am responsible and can take care of myself. I spend time with my mom and the rest of my family, but I don’t need someone to take care of me.. you are an all encompassing example of the guy to stay FAR away from. Good looking or not, your a waste of time.. no soul,depth or morals…… PEACE!
Obviously you did not read the entire comment. It was also about possibly being high maintenance, which means dates would be more McDonalds or evenings at home w/HBO and less nice dinners out. Also, your comments lack depth because of misspellings and punctuations – pay attention to yourself before nullifying others.
The one about living with one’s mother is utter drivel. In Europe people often live with their parents for extended periods of time and with the economy how it is, people in the States are finally wising up – that living entirely on one’s own is nigh impossible and still guarentee a true quality of life and opprotunities to save money!
Wow, Matt you’re pathetic! How many true repeat customers do you have for your one night stands? Do any of them actually care about you? If you were to land in the hospital right this second because of a peni-dectomy caused by the door being closed on it, how many of those girls would come and see you? None. Basically you’re a poor example of a man
I’m going to have to qualify my statement about ‘drivel’ I suppose. Anyone who lives with someone – be it parents, ex, spouse, child, relative or friend – for the sole purpose of mooching, or an excuse to not better themselves – that is a person to stay away from. If someone’s residing with family or friend and it’s for purely monetary reasons
or because they enjoy the company of living with family or friends – it doesn’t mean that they’re mentailly/emotionally deficient. If you have a problem and feel that it’s a ‘walk of shame’ to go past parents/relatives/whomever the morning after – that’s YOUR problem. So let the guy who lives with his mom and works hard back into your blackbook.
An honest & considerate man with self-respect doesn’t have the need to act or be to attract a woman with the same qualities. The only women I want to know are those with a mind of their own, a sense of humor & intelligence. A man or woman, having a core to them, are reliable & consistent. That’s the ‘type’ I want to share Life’s ups & downs with.
what if he lives with his grandparents?? is it the same??
Avoiding a man who does stay at home for his family isnt a red flag. If it is for you and whoever wrote this.. PEACE
Wow, J. Royal, I like the way you think. Same here.
I love this post and responses. I have to admit I am attracted to guys because of their looks. But when it comes time to evalute them it would not last long for me either. I would be out the door when i woke up and realized good looks can’t even take me to a movie. Sorry, but no.
NOT HOT.
Lyz Mancini writes very enjoyable articles. I found many of the points made to be completely true, but also made me laugh out loud at the same time.
Your comments about a guy who still lives with his mother are unfounded. Consider an elderly woman in her mid-70′s with Alzheimers setting in. Maybe the author of the above telling others to move on is an uncaring and insensitive *@$^@&%. I view the person who takes care of an elderly parent rather than shoving them in a home to be a respectable.
Any grown man who lives with his parents is a loser and really should take a hard look in the mirror. If you want to help your parents grow up asshole.
Ah the old if you live with your parents your an !@#$hole trick thats not entirely true you could be doing something productive like helping your parents out with bills and car payments and thing im a college student in Sacramento California i am helping them even from a distance and happily married so dont talking mess about prople its childish.
Where do you take your date if you live with your mother?
I have another thing to be aware of when you’re dating someone. Observe very closely the parents of the person you’re dating. Observe their relationship, the positives and the negatives, because if you marry this person, this will be your relationship too.
A man learns how to treat a woman from his family.
I am from India and me and my wife and kids live with my parents and it is very common. Does that make me a loser?
what about the man who keeps his moblie in his pocket and on silent
Well,whaddaya know? It takes a freak to find other freaks very hot. You need ot get your head checked, sister.