1. You’re short, but your name isn’t Miroslava.
2. Your street-crossing game is made up of one move: Not getting hit by cars.
3. You’d rather have the actual French fries. Or the lobster.
4. You never hold hands or link arms with your friends, dress in complementing outfits, or wear matching headwear.
5. Not even Annie Leibovitz could make you do this in the middle of a city street. In winter.
6. You’re still convinced armholes were made to be used.
7. You’re like “Wait, why is she wearing a bathmat after a pastel hair dye experiment?”
8. You almost never climb up on passing trucks and pose.
9. You also never really wear giant pom-poms on your head or on your neck that often.
10. You rarely find yourself in a cocktail dress on the street at 9 a.m.
11. You wonder where they learned to be so understated in their use of color.
12. You normally wear your bra under your shirt.
13. Your shoes aren’t made of fur or look like hungry monsters.
14. You left your Mickey ears at Disney World. When you were six.
15. You were like “I loved you on Dancing With the Stars! Your Pasa Doble on was point!”
All photos: ImaxTree