Welcome to StyleCaster’s Summer of Sex! For the next three months, we’ll be bringing you scintillating content about—you guessed it—all things related to our favorite three-letter word. A few things to expect: Answers to pressing questions you always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask, ways to boost your own sex appeal, what being sexy means to various people, and lots and lots of eye candy. And that’s just the beginning. Brace yourselves, people: It’s going to be one hot summer.
Yes, emotional orgasms are a thing, and they’re just what they sound like: A “wow” moment that leads to ongoing contentment in a relationship. Generally, emotional orgasms occur when you reach a peak of happiness, satisfaction, and pleasure—all at once! And while we don’t often refer to them by name, emotional orgasms are an absolute necessity in any romantic relationship. Whether you’re newly dating, contently committed, or married, here are 12 ways to make sure your partner is having non-stop emotional orgasms!
Don’t criticize the small stuff.
There’s nothing worse than picking on your partner—or being picked on—for small, inconsequential things. It creates tension, unease, and resentment, so check yourself whenever you have the urge to criticize, belittle, or pick over minor instances. If something is really bothering you, have an adult conversation about it rather than endlessly nagging: You’ll get results much quicker.
To emotionally satisfy your partner, you want to encourage. This means not shutting them down when they have ideas, or brushing them off when they want to talk about something. Be a personal cheerleader, and you’ll get one in return.
Verbalize your feelings.
If something’s bothering you, verbalize it. It’s important to make sure you don’t keep your feelings quiet and let them fester until you explode. When you’re having an issue, you want to remember to share your feelings and keep your calm.
Sometimes women become preoccupied with having a “perfect” relationship. They think they have to act a certain way and do specific things. They forget to actually have fun with their partner. The best relationships are full of laughter and goofiness. Keep in mind that everything doesn’t have to be planned—sometimes the most fun nights can be an impromptu dinner at home or something low-key like a picnic in the park.
Don’t tell each other what to do.
Bossiness isn’t attractive quality. In the bedroom, it can be fun, but not in the light of day. Your partner isn’t a child and shouldn’t be treated like one. You should both think for yourself and be able to do what you want. Bossing him around will lead to him eventually being very unhappy.
Sex isn’t a way of communicating.
Yes, sex can bring you closer. It enhances the intimacy in your relationship, but it shouldn’t be used as an alternative instead of verbally communicating. If you’re upset with your man or having an issue, you should speak about things before you hop into bed.
Appreciate each other.
It’s important to cherish and appreciate the person you’re with. You want to make sure that the love you feel for each other stays strong and continues to grow. Small gestures—making each other’s favorite desert or favorite dinner, to wearing something special—make a difference. Remind your partner what you like about them, often.
Compliments are important, and we often stop giving them when we’re in a serious relationship. If you like the way your partner did something, or simply like the way they look today, say it!
When you initiate physical contact, you’re showing your partner you desire them, which is key to keeping someone happy. A good relationship must have sex. If you don’t have an active sex life, chances are your parter might be thinking about getting it elsewhere or overdosing on porn.
Talk about work.
We’re at work for the majority of the day, so it seems odd to not take an active interest in what your partner is doing. Ask questions, and learn a little work lingo.
Find out what your partner’s goals are, whether it’s running a triathlon, switching careers, or waiting for a promotion. Learning these things offer insight to what your lover is passionate about, and it’ll give you something to celebrate when these goals are accomplished.
Being a good listener is a crucial part of being in a relationship. Listen to what your partner tells you, even if it’s something small. For example, if they mention trying a new restaurant, make reservations as a surprise. Simply remembering things can go a long a way for both of you.
Carly Spindel has inadvertently been in the matchmaking business since she was six years old. Now, she’s the vice president of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc. (check them out at JanisSpindelMatchMaker.com) and has “officially” been matching couples for four years.