People take their superheroes pretty seriously. I mean, for these guys, taking on villains like Joker, Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom is like stealing candy from a baby. These caped crusaders motivate us to help those that can’t help themselves and campaign for peace and justice throughout the world.
That being said, we’re fashion-minded types. Just because superheroes take on evil powers (and give us endless inspiration for Halloween costumes) doesn’t mean they’re perfect. Sure, some (like Batman) clean up quite nicely, but others (like The Hulk) are in desperate need of a makeover.
Here, we’ll give you a look at our picks for best and worst dressed superheroes.
Best Dressed Superheroes:
1. Batman (above)
This masked vigilante has serious style. When he’s cruising the streets as a billonaire businessman for his day job, Bruce Wayne sports suits that are always tailored to a tee. Hmm… custom Armani, perhaps? After a quick costume change, Batman flaunts his physique as he combats Gotham’s most dangerous criminals in a body-clinging, armored black suit— the scalloped cape is a badass bonus. It’s scary and mysterious, allowing Batman to conceal his identity. Fashion and function. We love it.
2. Silk Spectre II
This action hero might have the strength of men, but she fights crime in one of the sexiest, most aerodynamic costumes of all time. Sure, it’s probably not the most comfortable outfit in her closet, but this yellow and black latex number fits Silk Spectre like a glove. Oh, and the over-the-knee boots? Totally on point for Fall/Winter ’09.
3. Wonder Woman
As the first female superhero, Wonder Woman was blessed with the powers of flight, superior strength and speed, and enhanced vision and hearing with a resistance to magic. Although her story line was skewed over the years, this early member of the Justice Society remained true to her original purpose: to serve as an agent for social change. Her iconic ensemble perfectly reflects her patriotic and justice-driven message.
While all these other guys are running around the galaxy in tights, Doug Funnie reinvents the guy-next-door look with his sweater-vest-wearing, underwear-on-the-outside sporting alter ego, Quail Man. Weird? Yes. Impractical? Totally. But there’s something to be said for originality, and we appreciate that Quail Man is finding new ways to interpret standard menswear pieces.
For a guy with a face full of ink bolts, Rorschach pulls off dapper pretty well. This brooding Watchmen anti-hero superhero shows off street savvy with a trench and fedora combo — a classic city-sleek version of Humphrey Bogart in effortlessly cool threads.
6. Harry Potter
Okay, so we know what you’re thinking. Is Harry Potter even a superhero? He may not have been one of the greats in the world of graphic novels, but anyone who can save the world from the wrath of Voldemort with wizard tricks is a superhero in our book. Potter defines geek-chic cool with his collegiate-striped tie and wire-framed glasses. We bet that even Wonder Woman couldn’t resist Harry Potter’s magical ways.
Worst Dressed Superheros:
Poor Robin. For starters, he’s named after a songbird. What type of superhero is named after a dinky little bird? And it gets worse: Batman’s comrade barely gets any face time. But then again, would you want to run around town in one of the lamest costumes in comic history? The eye mask is reminiscent of the McDonald’s Hamburglar, and his green shoes are so elfish they might as well have bells on the toes. If we were Robin, we would keep a low profile too.
2. The Hulk
Let us get this straight. The Hulk is supposed to be a good guy? No wonder he’s reckless and impulsive — this much green never looked good on anybody. And we know that he doesn’t have much to work with (we can’t imagine how difficult it must be to find clothes that fit his larger-than-life frame), but The Hulk could give us more than just a tattered pair of old shorts.
3. Fantastic 4
Fashion is a means of self-expression, so why exactly do these cosmic crusaders deem it necessary to dress identically? For something supposedly “fantastic,” the costume choice is pretty lackluster. The uniform blue suits make Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, and Human Torch look more like Trekkies than superheroes.
4. Captain Planet
Where do we even begin? We get that Captain Planet is a product of the 80s, but this flat-top/mullet hybrid is just too much to handle (and we haven’t even mentioned the fact that it’s green). But more importantly, our main problem with Captain Planet’s getup is that he’s fighting off the world’s environmental problems in (drumroll please)… nylon? Show us that you believe in your cause, Captain Planet. Something in organic cotton would have been much more believable.
She may have been trained by the X-Men, but this 1970s heroine looks like she fell out of Studio 54. Sure, Dazzler may be powerful, but how are we supposed to take a superhero seriously when she’s wearing a shiny silver jumpsuit and roller skates? The disco ball that hangs from her neck is the icing on this poorly decorated cake.
6. Dr. Manhattan
Dr. Manhattan doesn’t cap our list because he’s bald or blue. It’s not even that he’s actually that poorly dressed. Our problem with this scientist is that, well… he’s not dressed at all. They don’t get any lazier than Dr. Manhattan. We don’t know what it’s like where you come from, Doc, but in most parts of this planet, indecent exposure is a crime.
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